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She did her best to make sure I wouldn't be gay

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by hawaiianflower, Jun 7, 2013.

  1. I was reading post yesterday and I realized something big.

    A bit of history. My mother is a Narcissist. I am the youngest so I have lived as her scapegoat since I was 12. Here is a link that gives an idea of what it is like to have a narcissist as a mother. A big part of me wants her to disown me when I come out.

    Having a child who is homosexual is a bad thing to my mother. She is a little better now, but only marginally. She is always overly concerned about her reputation.

    So, I realized that my mother actively did things to make sure I didn't turn into a homosexual. She thinks that not being girly makes a child a homosexual.
    There were a lot of things that were off limits.
    -video games
    -sports
    -types of clothes
    -short hair
    She also pushed things on me.
    -dresses
    -my room décor
    -ear rings
    -pink

    She did the same thing with my older brother. (not the one on EC)

    Anyway. Did anyone else experienced this?
     
  2. RainSprite

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Indiana
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I think only types of clothes applied to me. My mother's has/is always wanting me to wear skirts and dresses type of thing. I actually don't mind that - when I was younger I did because it was typically the type of dresses/skirts I didn't like too much. But now my sister and I wear dresses/skirts all the time.

    When I was growing up, I loved playing video games. My first 10 years of my life, I have memories of both my parents playing video games.

    Both my sister and mother have really short hair (boy cuts, buzz cuts sometimes). I'm the opposite and have quite long hair... they're always wanting me to cut my hair to a much shorter length.

    My mom doesn't care much about my room decor, as long as there's nothing explicit on the walls (I have younger siblings/nephews).

    We have a lot of earrings around. But, my mother, sister, and I never wear them.

    Pink? My dad is color blind, so he often has a hard time distinguishing colors. I don't really like pink too much. My parents did buy each of us (siblings) teddy bears the other day, and 2 of them were pink (yes, I know. I'm 22.. but I do like stuffed animals and often use them as decor in my room). My mother did mention of the pink ones were for my sister and I - in which we both responded by laughing and chose a different color.

    I'm glad I haven't experienced any of that on an extreme/annoying level. My father likes things like gardening, cooking (especially sweets), mechanics, building, video games, flower arrangements, poetry, etc. My mother likes foreign culture, gardening, building, knitting, animals - she doesn't wear make up, fancy clothes, or jewelry even though she has it.

    While I'm pretty sure both my parents are homophobic, I don't think they'd purposefully restrict certain interests because of stereotypes. i.e. My parents wouldn't think it strange if my brothers became interested in cooking, gardening. or if my sister and I became interested in sports. Clothing types would probably be a different matter though