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I'm in love with my straight best friend. I really need help :(

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by binkatopia, Jun 9, 2013.

  1. binkatopia

    binkatopia Guest

    Thank you for reading this first.

    Actually, I've been in love with my straight best friend for three years. I have just graduated from high school and I'm going to take a gap year.
    I have two friends, one is a girl, and one is a boy. I'm in love with the boy and the boy was in love with a girl. I know it's unbelievable and I really need some advice to get out of this.

    In grade 10, nothing happened. But in the first semester of grade 11, both of my friends became lovers. I hate this but I still helped them to deal with their problems. Then I started to do a lot of extracurricular activities, join some clubs, try to not become a part of the story. But in grade 12, they broke up. The girl told me she has dumped him. I called him in the night and he said he won't do anything because it's better for both of them.

    Then they never talk to each other again.

    I am still friends with both of them, although they never talk to each other. I tried to avoid my feeling I have for him but I failed. After a year, that feeling was growing stronger and stronger. I tried to stay away from him but we were in the same class and we had to work together in many things. We are really close friends, so it is very difficult for me to tell him I'm in love with him.

    I know there are many girls fall in love with him, and all of them were disappointed after being close to him. They do not understand him completely and they think they can change him. But I know who he is and I really love that person.

    Unfortunately, he still considers me as his best friend, he believe that we will be friends forever but at the moment I am not sure about it. He gave me so many heart attacks that being with him would hurt me more. If someday he married that girl or someone else, I would kill myself :frowning2:((((((

    It was hard for me and I decided to tell the girl. In the second semester of grade 12, I told the girl I have some feelings with him. And she said she didn't know about it and she was sorry. But then I found out that she started texting with him again. She told him she wanted to come back but he didn't want to.
    (It was an accident that I borrowed his phone to send a message because my phone was out of battery).

    I was very dissapointed. And I think he just wants to be friends with her. They are texting everyday and I just want to crash his phone whenever I see it.

    I really want to get out of this but I can't. I have graduated but I still meet him everyday. I don't now why, but I feel that he has been a part of my life and I am a part of his life, too. Please help! I don't know what to do. He is still my best friend. We don't want to lose each other, but I cannot stay with him and pretend I have no problems at all.

    I know my English is not really good, but I hope you will get the story. Thank you very much.
     
  2. Dakine

    Regular Member

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    Does he know your sexuality?

    ---------- Post added 9th Jun 2013 at 04:19 AM ----------

    If not, you should start by coming out to him if you can trust him to be confidential. A TRUE best friend will support you no matter what. He may be weird at first, but eventually he will come around. If and when you come out to him, wait a little while longer so that your coming out to him has time to sink in for him. Then I think it's a food idea to tell him how you feel. Again, a true best friend will understand that u can't help who u like. This will get this weight you've been carrying around off your shoulders. Opening up to him can be very therapeutic.

    But don't just take my advice, wait for others to respond to get a better feel if how to deal with this.
     
  3. binkatopia

    binkatopia Guest

    Thank you Dakine, he knows me gay and he thinks nothing's wrong with it. But he doesn't know that I like him so much :frowning2:
    I really don't want to tell him, it's so weird that all of the girls who like him always come to me to find out more about him. And then he friendzoned all of these girls and I don't want to be one of them.
    I will go to Japan this August for about one month. Is it good if I cut off all contact with him? He doesn't know anything about my trip and I know he would be crazy if he cannot call or see me on facebook :frowning2:(