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i think a girl has a crush on me HELP

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by heartbreaker94, Jun 9, 2013.

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  1. heartbreaker94

    heartbreaker94
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    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I'm a 17 year old gay male and there's a girl in my school. Every guy wants her. We talked a little and became friends. But lately I've noticed changes in her behaviour around me. She's been leaning on my shoulder, touching me more than necessary and staring at my crotch. Now, I'm not very good wih girls so im crap at reading the signals.

    One day we went to the park to study for an upcoming exam. We were totally alone and it was quiet and peaceful. Totally out of the blue, she sat herself on my lap and started kissing me really passionately. Now I didn't want any awkwardness so i kissed her back a bit then just let it happen. I pulled away and ran home. I don't know why, i was just so freaked out.

    I don't want to tell her i'm gay because i'm scared she'll get angry and tell everyone. What should i do??????
     
    #1 heartbreaker94, Jun 9, 2013
  2. castle walls

    castle walls
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    I think you should talk to her about it. You don't have to come out to her if you don't want to. You could just say something along the lines of "I'm really flattered but I just don't see you that way".

    There are other excuses that you can use (not looking for a relationship right now, don't want to hurt the friendship, etc. etc.) but I think sticking as close to the truth as you can would be the best choice.

    Hope I helped! Welcome to EC!
     
    #2 castle walls, Jun 9, 2013
  3. heartbreaker94

    heartbreaker94
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    Thanks for your advice andsupport :slight_smile: she tried to make another move on me (sexual) but i told her i was flattered but didnt see her that way :slight_smile: she got kinda stroppy but she'll get over it
     
    #3 heartbreaker94, Jun 9, 2013
  4. hawaiianflower

    hawaiianflower Guest

    If she continues, then tell her that you have a thing for someone and feel like it would be wrong to start something with her when your heart isn't into it.

    It's a little misleading, but not too bad.
     
    #4 hawaiianflower, Jun 9, 2013
  5. Leutheria

    Leutheria
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    Yeah, I think this is the way to go. Technically, you are having a thing with someone else... the entire male gender. XD
     
    #5 Leutheria, Jun 10, 2013
  6. Chip

    Chip
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    The problem here -- and it's come up for other members before -- is the girls (or guys) who are used to having anyone they want generally don't take no for an answer and can be really aggressive and persistent. (Surprisingly, most are very insecure deep inside, and someone not liking them makes them feel ugly and unwanted, even if everyone else wants them)

    So it can be difficult to get out of the situation without admitting you're gay, and she might push you into a corner (in an attempt to preserve her own self esteem) and direclty ask you... and if you pause even for a fraction of a second in denying it, she'll likely pick it up.

    The best route, if you're ready, is to just come out to her. But if you do that, the whole school will know within seconds, because she'll need to let everyone know that it isn't *her* fault you don't like her. That really isn't as bad as it sounds; you get it all over with quickly and it's painful in the moment, but subsides quickly.

    Anything else is problematic because lying affects your self esteem, and means keeping track of the lies, and often, building lies on top of lies. But if you aren't ready, that may be the only other option. One route could be to just claim it's religious, or that you have too much going on to think about being in a relationship, or that you got hurt really badly in another relationship and aren't ready, or something like that.
     
    #6 Chip, Jun 10, 2013
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