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Advice Needed on Relationship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Mrcake, Jun 11, 2013.

  1. Mrcake

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    Hello everybody! I was making this thread because I wanted to know your opinion on this issue that I have. I am a virgin right now and I will be moving in a month or so to live by myself. I have a friend who is openly gay and he started talking to me. He says that I'm really cute and he wants to see me. He says that he has done it with 15 guys before, and he can "Show me the ropes" and "Do stuff". There are also a few more concerns that I have here. He said he has been tested and he is clean, he always uses protection and such, but he claims that he needs to have sex with someone to determine if a relationship is possible. Isn't that a bit much? I'm not sure why he would think that sex would determine how a relationship would be... I just don't want to end up losing my virginity to a jerk and all... and someone who seems like a sex fiend (maybe). I'm not sure what to do.. he lives an hour away from where I'm moving and said that he would drive. :bang:
     
  2. Chip

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    Anyone who has been with 15 people AND says they "need to have sex with someone to know if a relationship is posslble" has issues, to say the least.

    Sex is part of any healthy relationship, but it isn't the only part and this guy sounds to me like a total use-em-and-drop-em type... and not even the smoothest operator at that.

    No, someone doesn't need to have sex with you to know if a relationship is possible, unless the only thing he cares about. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Lexington

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    I'll kind of argue against what Chip says, to a degree. I know plenty of guys who want to start having sex immediately in any relationship, and that's totally their call. If sex is important to them, why wait weeks or months just to find out they're sexually incompatible, or that the sex just isn't that good? No, not everybody has to have sex right off the bat, or even should, but it's not necessarily a bad thing, either.

    With that out of the way, let me say this about your friend. He sounds like a good guy to try out having sex with...but he doesn't sound necessarily like great boyfriend material for you. If you're interested in fooling around with a guy to see what it'd be like, I think he'd be fine for that. If you're interested in having a boyfriend, I'm not sure he's an ideal candidate. So if you're mainly interested in a relationship, I'd turn down the offer.

    Lex
     
  4. Mrcake

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    I'm asking this guy some questions.. It seems like he wants a relationship and all, but he also seems like the sex only kind of guy.. I want a boyfriend though, not just a party boy. I might have to turn him down, or something.

    Update: He said, "A couple were one night stands and ____ was the only boyfriend but the rest were with just my really good gay friends."

    Update 2: "Uhh no its actually not Mrcake. It is for you cuz you're a virgin. Do you have any idea how many girls my best friend has slept with? 34...that's a lot. I get no more ass than a straight guy. Plus I'm always safe so what's the big deal? ....I mean yeah but I wasn't like freaking out about how many guys my friend had been with before me."
     
    #4 Mrcake, Jun 11, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2013
  5. Vegas Boy

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    Huh I don't know about this guy. I know some guys want to have sex immediately to see if their sexually compatible. If I were you just tell him you dont want to have sex with him and just break it off after that. I would just tell him if he wants a relationship with you he should wait. But don't make him wait too long.
     
  6. Mrcake

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    I want to clarify that update and update 2 are all his words.

    ---------- Post added 11th Jun 2013 at 11:55 PM ----------

    Update again... :I want to clarify that update and update 2 are all his words.... and now he said he looks for mostly physical attributes in men and then someone who is good sexually and has refined skills.
     
  7. Mrcake

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    Final real time update: This guy talked about sexual things and basically said he wants sex before a relationship.. Kind of scares me. I don't think I will get with him unless I want sex, that's all.
     
  8. Mrcake

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    This guy seems like a train wreck... I think he has gone a bit wacky because of his last relationship.I pretty much won't see him unless I'm desperate.
     
  9. TimTomC

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    If I were you, I would not have sex with him, if he's not in a committed relationship with you, I think sex is a big step, and I think lex was wrong to say, why date somebody for months to find out, they're bad in bed, and leave them, if you really love someone, you can teach them how to be better in bed, and give them time, sex takes practice to be good at.

    Hold that virginity for dear life, my friend! :slight_smile:
     
  10. Zannan

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    I agree. It sounds a little off.