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How do I act around my friend I have a crush on?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Parsley, Jun 11, 2013.

  1. Parsley

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    I just came out to my friend that was my former crush. I thought I was good. I thought it was gone. But now that I'm spending a little more time with her as she's helping me out, it's coming back a little bit. And now she might notice it since she knows I'm gay. She is in a relationship right now, so acting on it isn't in the picture. And I REALLY don't want to lose her as a friend.

    It isn't a lusty crush. I LIKE her. I really like her as a person. I'm also physically attracted to her but that is very secondary. I could see myself happily married to her and raising kids and enjoying each others' company forever. But since she's amazingly happy in her relationship then I'm happy having her as a friend because I'd be a shitty friend if I wanted her relationship/happiness to end so that she could be with me.

    The question is; how do I keep her from being uncomfortable? How do I act? She knows I tried to flirt with her about a year ago when we first met, though at that time I wasn't out to myself or to her. It was very ineffectual awkward flirting.

    I don't want to cause a problem in our friendship. She's one of my best buddies. I have no intention of acting on my feelings for her. And I adore her girlfriend. I do not want to make either her or her girlfriend uncomfortable.
     
  2. LibraryKitten

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    I'm in a similar situation with a good friend of mine at university.

    If you don't make a big deal of it, neither of them should. I would just continue treating her as a close friend, and if she happens to ask about your romantic feelings, be honest with her and tell her what you just typed here. =) In the meantime, the best advice I can give you is to just enjoy her company for what it is. Don't put stress on your friendship with her by waiting for her to come to you - keep looking for other people. If you two do eventually end up together, great! If you find somebody else, that's great too! Until then, and if not, don't worry about it too much.
     
  3. Parsley

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    Okay. Thanks. LibraryKitten. That helps. As long as you don't think it's a big deal still being good friends with her if she notices that I might have a crush. I'm not pining for her or waiting for her.

    I could easily see her and her girlfriend getting married. They're adorably cute together. Just the sweetest couple. I've told her that too, how much I like them together and how much I like her girlfriend (not like that!). And it's true. Do you think that might also help her feel more comfortable by establishing that I don't want to get between them? I didn't say it because of that. I said it because it's true. They've been together for years and they still get all smiley and blushy for each other. It just makes your heart melt.
     
  4. LibraryKitten

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    That's so sweet! It's nice to see that it can work out like that. (= Telling her that also helps, I'm sure.
     
  5. Parsley

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    They really are SO sweet together. My goal in life is to find that with someone.
     
  6. Parsley

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    She said I'm cute :icon_redf:love:

    It was in conversation and in passing, but I'll take it.