Hello everybody! This is my first post on the forums, but I've been reading this fantastic website for a while. I hope I've put this in the right section, but if not, sorry! :lol: First of all, I'm pretty sure I'm bi, because I find various men and various women attractive. The best of both worlds, as it were! :icon_wink Over the last couple of months my preference has been leaning. A few months ago, I was pretty sure I was completely gay. Then I started noticing the girls around my school. It's been flicking back and forth, and honestly I feel completely fine with being bi. I've never been in a relationship though - a few years ago I almost asked a girl out, but I started leaning towards the guys and my interest faded. Anyway, a couple of days ago I was playing an online game, met a pretty cool person, and began hanging out with them. We have - alot - in common. He's a guy, my age, and we live REALLY close to each other. At first it actually felt too good to be true, but I 'm pretty sure he's legit - not some 50-year old lying about himself. (No offense to any 50 year olds! :eusa_danc ) We began spending quite a lot of time with each other. We had a lot of laughs and now we're real ID friends - so we can both play together, regardless of servers and things. And then, one night, he began flirting with me, and I... well, I didn't discourage him! :badgrin: We're both under 18 and so the talks were pretty tame, but as I lay in bed that night I realised he might actually want to start going out with me. I haven't come out to my family yet - though they're kind people who would accept me and leave it at that, so I'm not too worried - but I don't think I will anytime soon. He said he was bi as well. I didn't ask if he was out. Ever since that night I've felt really anxious. It feels great to have another bi guy to talk to - especially one my age - but I'm not ready for a relationship. I have no experience and have never really thought about it. And even if I was, I don't feel any love or major feelings towards him. I'm worried he might think I do, and might try to take things further. Why am I worried? I'm a very sensitive person, and always try to be kind to others. I used to be really bad, but I've gotten better - even so, I still don't like declining stuff because it makes me feel guilty. How bad would I feel if I turned him down?! :eek: I might just be paranoid, but he feels a bit obsessive - the kind of person who'll constantly latch themselves to you when you just want to do your own thing. Bringing it back to the game, he constantly wants me to play with him. I have other friends I want to play with, but I'm too soft to turn him down. It all seems silly but I've always been like that. Noticing the wall of text I've created, I'm going to try to wrap this up. Should I take a deep breath and make it clear I don't want a relationship? Should I go along for a little while longer to see if he gets better? I've even considered removing him as a friend and blocking him, but that just seems immature. I've done that before to avoid confrontation, and I'm not proud of it. And ironically, I'll probably hurt him even more badly by attempting to avoid a confrontation, which I seem to think will upset him. I'm really not sure what to do. Thanks to everybody who'll have read this, and I'm sorry for the wall of text and if this is in the wrong forum! :rolle:
I've had that same feeling, about not wanting to 'let somebody down' who is attracted to you', or flirting. I don't think it's too uncommon. My advice would to be honest; Tell him you're flattered, but not really seeking a relationship. It's hard, too, because I know early on I was very curious...and the first boy I actually had sex with was just that...playing around to see what it was like. We didn't have much in common, and went our own ways in about a week. Neither of us was overly attached. Then, I went a long time wondering if I'd ever find anyone I had more than the physical in common with, and dated nobody...eventually, I met my current mate. I'd say that here, if he seems overly clingy, it might be best to resist the temptation to just fool around...he might get attached, and then, you'd be in a much harder emotional spot. But mainly, be honest, and see where things go.
Interesting, Husky. Thanks ever so much for the advice - I'll be honest and gently tell him I'm not looking for a relationship. If he takes it the wrong way it won't be my fault, because I was honest - and that's the important thing! You've helped me see that. Perhaps in a few years I'll be ready for a relationship, but I'm trying to focus on exams and things right now and I wouldn't want this to affect them. I might update the situation in a few days time. Thanks!
