So I have been telling myself that I just need a fresh start. I've been screwed over, effed over, everything negative sense of over there is. No, I haven't been bullied, but I'm just so sick of all of these douchebag people in my life. Therefore it's time for me to start anew. The key thing right now is work. I've got three months of work (with many weekends before and after) and I want to start my newness there. Our whole goal as an amusement park is to become the friendliest park, which is part of the reason why I want to be nicer. The problem? I do not want to crush on any at work, whether it be girls or guys. I've done it before and I hurt myself so badly in the process. I'm still not over the guy. Every time I think about him, or see him on Facebook...or even see him in person...I physically can feel pain in my heart. But here we are, the first full week of work, and I am already fighting back crushes. Notice, plural. There's Jake...who I have yet to formally meet and have only one day left to have a potential. I tried before and it went wrong on his end. Then there's David. I think he's good-looking...to be honest. And Mondays should be interesting. I work in a building of four games, of those, three are connected. I'm in the middle. On Monday my friend Lauren and I went over and brought him to our games. Our boss didn't care, it was rainy, the park was dead, so we bonded. I really like him. I do just want friendship...but knowing my luck it'll turn into more. And there's Alex. He's kinda awkward but as I've found out tonight, he's pretty chill. There's also the possibility of him being gay. The thing is, last year I wanted to meet him and crush on him...this year...I know him now and I don't want to crush on him because I just want friends. SO do you guys have any advice on handling crushes? The rest of my life I've just been un-cluttering. I recently got new carpet...first time in 16 years and everything that built up in my room for the past 16 years...is now gone (including some awkward things I would prefer for my parents to not have found). I feel so much better. I've been distancing myself from school people. Although some are nice, many are douchebags and I just don't want to deal with them. There is honestly one person I will go to right now for personal advice but I feel like I've been bugging him so I guess I shall not. Anything else I can do to try and start anew? I want to recreate me, to be honest. Just a better me.
