Title says it all. I am in closet and quite comfortable with my sexual orientation but can't come out. In fact I don't even want to come out. Not into normal gay scene here don't do bars or want to have a big circle of friends. The only problem I come across is dating. Don't do hookup sites n other dating sites guys prefer non closeted guys. I am a nice normal masculine healthy gay man in 30s n looking for someone similar. I am not sure what to do. Never being in a relationship n didn't like hookup sites either. What can I do to change my situation?
There's a high likelyhood that the men you meet and find interesting aren't mind readers, so crossing your fingers behind your back is out of the question. I have no idea how you'd find other gay men "like you" if you're pretending to be heterosexual all the time?
↑↑ This. ↑↑ Dating while in the closet is frustrating for both the partner in the closet and the partner that's out. It's not really practical, because you'll never feel comfortable with public displays of affection (PDA), and that'll be really hurtful to whomever you date - if you even get that far. I managed to have a 45-minute secretive date with this awesome guy I met on The Gay Geolocation App That Cannot Be Named while I was still in the closet, and it was the most nerve-wracking experience of my life. Afterwards, I sunk into the deepest depression I've ever endured, and mixed with severe panic attacks, I was an emotional mess. I came out to my doctor the next day, and my parents the day after that. Now that I'm out, I have nothing to hide, so dating suddenly becomes practical. I'm going on a date with that same guy to the movies and for coffee afterwards, probably on Tuesday, and my parents are going to go out to their favourite restaurant that I don't like at the same time - it's win-win. I get my date, and they get to have a date too! I seriously think you need to come out. Depending on your situation, maybe not including your parents, but you need to do it. Sorry if I'm coming across as harsh, but I think it's the only way you can move on and get a healthy relationship. I promise you'll feel better once you're out (*hug*).
