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My fiancè's parents won't accept us having a baby...(im in a lesbian relationship)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by girlracerzo3, Jun 17, 2013.

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  1. girlracerzo3

    girlracerzo3
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    Right so me and fiancé have decided we want a family and the way we want to do it is by having eachother's baby, basically we fertilize my egg and place it in her and she will carry and give birth, giving us both a part in "creating" the baby, making it more special than the normal ivf treatment.. then vice versa and i will do it for her with our 2nd child... we still haven't decided who will go 1st etc as it doesnt really matter.. she explained the procedure to her mother and she says she won't accept the baby as her grandchild as it has no part of her daughter and she would just be seen as the carrier of my baby.. i mean come on, this really broke my heart and it really upset my gf.. her mother says she will only accept the baby if it comes from her "egg".. am i wrong to think she is being cold hearted :icon_sad: can someone please give sime advice
     
    #1 girlracerzo3, Jun 17, 2013
  2. ioden

    ioden
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    Re: My fiancè's parents won't accept us having a baby...(im in a lesbian relationship

    If you are financially independent and you live on your own, then go for it; otherwise I'd wait. Having financial ties can be the source for potential emotional abuse. It's very hurtful not to have the acceptance of your mother; but in the end it's your life and your decisions. The caring and love from her mothers will be what your future babies need.

    If you haven't done this, I'd suggest to have a reunion with your mother. That reunion should be to discuss about your family plans and listen to your mother's opinions. You may resolute to give some time to your mother to think about your plans and how to assimilate them; but your family plans are non negotiable.
     
    #2 ioden, Jun 17, 2013
  3. Thegreatperhaps

    Thegreatperhaps
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    Re: My fiancè's parents won't accept us having a baby...(im in a lesbian relationship

    You're definitely not wrong to think that.

    I've started to voice an interest in adopting children to my family, and one time my aunt told me how she wouldn't be able to love an adopted child of mine the same because it wouldn't be biological or "have the same blood as us."
    Some people just have different opinions, and while I don't think it's quite fair of her to be saying that, she is technically entitled to hold that belief. It would just be really crummy for the baby if they were treated differently. Maybe continue to calmly speak to her about it, perhaps her idea of it would change. Or whenever she'll see the baby, she might open her eyes and love it unconditionally.
    Either way, in the end, it's your family and if you and your fiance are happy, your family will be lovely and prosperous. c:
     
    #3 Thegreatperhaps, Jun 17, 2013
  4. Femmeme

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    Re: My fiancè's parents won't accept us having a baby...(im in a lesbian relationship

    You aren't even remotely off base. Your fiancé's mother is being a controlling, homophobic bitch. I mean even if you feel that way, you should just shut up and fake it. The only, and I mean the only reason for saying so is to intentionally try to hurt someone and bend them to your will.

    I think your idea is lovely. Though I strongly suggest you keep the wicked grandma of the west far, far away from your future babies.

    (*hug*)
     
    #4 Femmeme, Jun 17, 2013
  5. girlracerzo3

    girlracerzo3
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    Re: My fiancè's parents won't accept us having a baby...(im in a lesbian relationship

    thnx for your advice guys x im 26 and my partner is 34 and we are both financially ready and emotionally ready, we both hold steady jobs and have a good income and we own our own house... the only thing stopping us is that.. i really do hope she sees the logic in all of this because it is our dream and we are really hurt by her reaction... =(
     
    #5 girlracerzo3, Jun 19, 2013
  6. Boyfriend

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    Re: My fiancè's parents won't accept us having a baby...(im in a lesbian relationship

    It´s amazing how she thinks passing on their own blood is more important than the fact that the baby is born into a loving relationship. Says something about her and her background, I suppose.
     
    #6 Boyfriend, Jun 19, 2013
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