This giant mess all started when the new kid in my class outed me to my best friend, and told him that I liked him. After that things took a 180, and now he hardly speaks to me, other than an occasional hello, or asking what class we have next. He will rarely spend one on one time with me, the only way he'll interact is when the other guys are around. It sucks a lot, he was my 'bro' for the last three years, we went to each other for emotional support when it was needed, he got me though a lot of the rough patches when i was still struggling with my sexuality, although at the time he never knew i 'swung' that way. We laughed a stupid jokes that we would tell each other, crazy hand shakes we came up with, carrying each other to class, all the funny faces we made while the teacher had her back turned, the car rides to lunch, coffee dates. Occasional heart to hearts, and we were pretty liberal towards each other with affection. Back rubs after a rough day in gym class, resting his head on my shoulders when he slept in class. Bro hugs a lot of the time. its been two months now since he was told about me, and things have gotten to a good place but it feels like I can never get back what we use to have because me being gay makes things completely different (even though it shouldn't) And yes I've been told to let it go, and that he wasn't really my friend, but the thing is that he was really my friend and for the longest time. And maybe it was the part about me having feelings for him that really made things different because i talked to him before and he told me he had no problem with gays. Can things be the same again? Is there anything i can say or do that might move things in a more positive direction? I really need to know because i miss the guy like a mother trucker, and I'm not ready to let him go until i know that i've done everything i can.
Well first I really want you to just throw any potential romantic/relationshippy feelings you have about him and throw it in a box, lock it up tight and throw away the key. Now once you've done that, if he is still talking to you then go after him and tell him how much he means to you as a friend and that nothing is going to get in the way of that. And if he needs time then give it to him but there needs to be a definite yes or no if there's going to be a future with your friendship. If he doesn't talk to you anymore then hold out an olive branch and every other month or so remind him. If he's still talking to you then hold on for dear life. You just have to realize that he knows now, so if there will ever be anything between you two he has to do it, so throw your romantic emotions away for now and focus on the friendship. I told my ex-bestfriend (at least i hope not) of my preferences early on, he was fine with it, the only difference between your situation and mine is that he stopped talking to me because I wanted to help him, he hasn't talked to me actually for almost a year, we both understood each other like no one else would. I would only go for him of he had feelings for me, but other than that I cared a lot about him, and he cared about me, but that didnt stop him. I'm still hurting from it from time to time and honestly of he came back to me the first thing i would do is probably punch or shove him (and I'm a very non violent person) before bursting into tears (and the only time I cried in 7 years was when my parrot died) I'm at the point where I hate him but I still really miss him, I don't want that to happen to you. and the reason why I'm advising you to ask about a possible future is because the ambiguousness of me wondering and hoping every day (at first at least) kills you. If the friendship means that much to you THEN TRY AS HARD AS YOU CAN edited for fixing mistakes I made on the phone**
