Question for those in a relationship with a closeted person

I am actually the closeted one in the relationship. Our relationship is ... well, private of course, but also temporary. This is because he's leaving for college soon and I am not (and even if I were, I doubt we'd be attending the same place).

So, while my situation isn't probably the one you're looking for (i.e. two people with a possible future), I'll still share anyway. It's difficult having a private relationship. We haven't told anyone and I can't imagine what my friends would think since I haven't come out yet. The only thing in our favor is that parents don't suspect anything when he comes over.

However, I've been thinking lately about if I should continue this relationship and whether or not it's healthy. It's for the same reason that I haven't entered any romantic relationships in high school, because those relationship will eventually end (most of the time). This is one of those cases except this time it won't be because we're unstable people and will fight and break up. It's because the direction of our lives is going to break us up and quite soon (in just a few short months, if even). Both of us like each other quite a bit and though we've accepted that it's only going to last a while, I fear that I'll feel emotionally damaged when I've invested so much into a person.

If anything, this relationship hasn't pushed me further into the closet, but encouraged me to do so. I won't come out while we're still together, but shortly after I plan to (not to the world, but close friends and family). If this relationship had a potential future, I'm not sure if I'd want to come out that early which could be different from those couples who do have potential futures.

All I know is that I'm confused as to what to do or feel and for once it's not about my sexuality. I am sure of who I am, but not sure how to approach it. Do I stay with him knowing it's going to end? When do I come out? Who do I come out to? Will my sexuality get around to others?

 

Well, as far as other stories I've heard here, mine isn't that bad. Usually what I hear is how others crush on guys and wonder if those guys reciprocate their feelings. Well, if I were to guess (though I'm a bad reader of people), my current partner was one of those guys wondering and I was the closeted one who didn't send any signs back. I'm not good at flirting or taking hints, but I'm also not mean about it so it may just have been better if he came forward in the first place. Then again, he's very intelligent so maybe he came forward at the right time!

We started talking almost a year ago and it was simply friendly conversation. We talked about subjects that were intimate on an emotional level and learned so much about each other. After talking so much with him, I decided to come out to him. He then extended himself and that's how it happened. So though our ending isn't going to look like a 'happy' one, at least it started that way and I've gained invaluable relationship experience. If you'd like the fuller story, I wrote a blog post (and it's currently my only one). But this is the jist of it.

So, the goal is, next time I enter a relationship with a guy (or conceivably woman), I'll be out (even to a woman) and the end of the relationship won't be dictated by uncontrollable factors.