Me and my boyfriend have had a row, he says that I don't "let people love me" and I am a very very closed person about stuff. I don't speak to him if I am feeling bad (I will appear with cuts on my arms) and when he tries to help me, I just avoid it and push him away as much as I can possibly manage. Could it be that I just dont want to be loved?
I think it's more you feel vulnerable letting yourself be open and accepting that theyll love you regardless pf whats being left closed, and I think it's much more common than one thinks (I should know, I can be a lot like it too). Any words I say as a solution are pretty hollow from me considering I'm a lot like it too sometimes, but I know how you feel. For me it's like a final chance of rejection revealing what's behind this last barrier, all of my most hidden and vulnerable human features. I don't know if that's the same for you, but I know what you mean.
At least in my experience, I feel like that a lot as well, it might stem from feeling like your not worthy of being loved. Some times i feel like im just not worth the other persons time, and it feels like i just dont want to be loved but I just dont know my self worth. Hope this helps and best of luck
It sounds like you are trying to take on the world all by yourself. Do you feel like anything bad would come of sharing, or it just doesn't occur to you to ask for help?
It's either fear or self-burden. Don't be afraid to lower your guard. We tend to be untrusting towards others because of the hostility we expect. Don't be too cynical. Same time: don't try to shoulder all your problems by yourself, it hurts. A lot. Have independence, but when you let yourself lean on someone it's more gratifying for you and them.
