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Mom may tell dad im gay behind my back

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by FreeFlow9917, Jun 23, 2013.

  1. FreeFlow9917

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    Hey guys, im coming for advice, i tell mom that i may be gay (at least 3 times), but she sounds so shocked about it, and she always says that she's going to tell my dad. I have to lie to her (very hard) and say i'm still journeying with emotions of attraction, when that ship has already landed. I tell her that i will tell him, but at the perfect moment.

    My dad isn't too nice to the LGBT on tv, but in life he is, and i know he'll just cause living mental hell for me.

    Anyway, i tell my mom that she doesn't know how hard it is, but she says she does. I know she doesn't know what i'm going through as she told me once she always liked boys. I feel as though she says it to cheer me up.I'm just sooo scared that she'll reveal me behind my back, and she said that it'll just be easier just to tell him instead of waiting.

    Hell one time i told her in a coffee shop, and on our way home, she didn't believe i was gay at all, that it's a phase (the phase part was probably on her thoughts though she never said it though). I'm also going through anger stage of grief and i've accepted myself as gay. Why does she want to tell my dad i'm gay though, i feel like she thinks i am making it up. What do i do?
     
  2. FemCasanova

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    Maybe she simply needs someone to share it with, sometimes it`s hard to deal with things alone, which you already know. She`s going through some stages of grief herself and carrying it inside without being able to talk about it with someone else might be tough on her. I completely understand that it doesn`t make you feel better about it, but as hard as it is accepting your sexuality, your parents have to find a way to accept it as well. And a shock shared, is a shock easier handled.

    *hugs* Her refusal of your sexuality and dismissal of it to be just a phase, is very common. She`s bargaining, hoping that it might not be true, because if it is true then it means you`ll face challenges a lot of other young men don`t. She probably loves you a whole lot, and the prospect of you having difficulties in your life is scary to her, she probably doesn`t understand how important her acceptance is to you. Have you tried telling her that?

    Hang on in there, her reaction could have been a lot worse!
    *hugs*