Forgive me for any faux pas (fuck up(s) to you and me) on here, I've only been a member for roughly 20 minutes now Anyway. As the story goes. I've been 'out' discretely for around 2 years now, however this does NOT include dressing in front of people. EVER. Close friends were the first to know (well..Only 2 of them), and from the initial reaction I wasn't exactly pleased. As time has passed a few other people have been told, and from what I assumed, it was not a massive deal. HOWEVER. I find out as of a few evenings ago that approximately 2-3 months back I had been outed within my group of 'friends' (Using the term VERY liberally given the circumstances). It started of as a one-on-one conversation between two 'friends' which then snowballed into the entire group of people I associate with finding out who and what I am. To myh knowledge, getting quite the snicker or two from it (E.g. Oh..It's 'Male Name'...Don't you mean /titters 'Female Name'.). And basically from here has left me feeling gutted. I can have the slightest shred of understanding if this was disclosed due to a concern, however it was because recent 'activities' committed by myself (Chit-chatting about make-up, clothing and all things girly while presenting as 'Male Name'), and everyone had just found this, for lack of a better weird, 'Odd'. It's been known the entire time within this 'group' that I've had issues, as everybody does. However 'this' seems to have just been interpreted as a joke. Something I do for fun, something with no serious connotations. Something not worth feeling suicidal and blue over. And I'm stuck thinking. How the hell SHOULD I feel about this? The person who DID the initial 'outing' has known me for almost 14 years, but recently (Actually. SINCE me coming out to him) a distance has been noticed by myself. I just feel on the outside of everything, and I don't know if I should be angry, should be hurt. Or if I should even attempt to maintain a friendship here anymore. The only thing stopping me is the palpable lonliness (Yep. Pity Party! :s). I just want to know. Stay, go, what? Peace, love, and all the shit inbetween, H.G
I know the feeling of being outed. It's like you are so dumbfounded that someone would even fucking do it, and they just rip apart everything you ever had when you thought you could trust them. After that feeling of knowing I was outed, I felt extremely angry. I wanted answers, and I got them. My advice: confront him about it. Ask him why he did it. Did you specifically tell him and your group of friends not to tell anyone?
I asked, and all I got was 'people noticed you were acting different and wanted to know', which then came back as 'I didn't think they'd mind'. :/ I had asked him specifically to keep things on the DL. Especially the information which was then PASSED on.
I'm so sorry you have to go through that hell. (*hug*) You have every fucking right to be pissed the hell off. Every. Single. Right. Let your 'friend' know that this was a complete violation of your trust, and anything else that you might want to say. It's up to you whether you want to stop being friends with him. Tough noodles for him if you choose not to be his friend. I am on a no-speaking term with the person who outed me. He keeps trying to contact me via facebook or texting, but whatever. I don't want to talk to someone who can't follow simple directions. Right now, you need a plan if you want to tame the wildfire that might spread. How do you think you want to go at this? Do you want to go back into the closet about it to certain people, and just say it is for jokes? Do you want to come completely out, as it is already out there? What if someone you haven't prepared on telling, like your family, finds out? How accepting or understanding will they be?
Apologies for the lapse in time. Freaking funeral today to top it all off! :s I am planning to do the 'grand' coming out relatively soon (ariving at someone's 18th in a dress, heels, the works n.n). Otherwise, I'll be pondering over this for weeks to come :x Thanks though !!
