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This is kinda awkward... Relationships/first date advice?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Momosboy, Jun 24, 2013.

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  1. Momosboy

    Momosboy
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    Hey, EC'ers! Momosboy here! I'm currently dating my wonderful boyfriend, let's call him... Moting. We're in a long-distance relationship, and we live on the same continent, just different countries, and many, MANY miles apart. We email, and it's great and all, but... I want to go on a date with him. We've made plans to move in together in about a year, but... We've never even kissed. Heck, I'VE never kissed anyone. I don't know what to do. I know I love him, and I'm IN love with him, but... I want to physically hold him, dry his tears when he's sad, laugh with him when he's happy. I'm just so worried I'm not doing enough, or that I'm being selfish. What should I do?
     
    #1 Momosboy, Jun 24, 2013
  2. HippieWitchMama

    HippieWitchMama
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    How feasible is it for you to have a visit? I think that might be the way to go. Long distance is hard and it always helps when you can at least spend a little time together.
     
    #2 HippieWitchMama, Jun 24, 2013
  3. LD579

    LD579
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    You should visit each other first. Ideally you'd spend some time together before deciding whether or not you'd move in together. That's really, truly the best advice I can give, and it can be costly.

    Besides that... it depends on how old you are and how old your boyfriend is, how long you've known each other, and how your financial situations are, and what either of you would be leaving behind, and whether that's a risk either of you would be willing to take. With that said, again, you should visit each other first before deciding to move in together. Things may be different in person... but then again, things may not be. The only way to know would be to visit each other in person, and even then, things are different when you're basically on vacation and hanging out versus seeing each other semi-regularly versus actually living together.
     
    #3 LD579, Jun 24, 2013
  4. Momosboy

    Momosboy
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    Let me put it this way... My parents are like Rapunzel's adopted mother. Also, he's kinda in Texas, and afraid of driving, and I'm in a very, VERY small town. How feasible? NOT feasible at all.

    ---------- Post added 24th Jun 2013 at 04:40 PM ----------
    You think you could take me? I'm in Alberta. Also, I'm 23, and still living with homophobic parents. He's 20, and his parents don't get him. We've known each other for a year. What will I be leaving behind? Nothing of value. If my parents hate me because Moting is my boyfriend, then I don't want them as my family. We're both Christians, BTW, and, well... If my parents found out I'm a girl inside... I'm dead. We have a very small financial situation right now. I've got a bit, but he's broke, and training for his job. I want... I NEED to see him, make sure he's okay.

    All I know for certain is we're already engaged. BTW, he's in Texas, so we can't exactly get married yet... Stupid Congress.
     
    #4 Momosboy, Jun 24, 2013
  5. LD579

    LD579
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    Um... I hope you were joking when you brought up me bringing you. I'm 19 and have no money at all, practically. Besides that... Well, hm.

    It's nice to see another Canadian. CANADAAA :wink:

    This is a tough situation, no doubt about it. If you want to visit him or move, either way you'd have to save up money. If you have a job, save up a lot. If not, go get one and save up a lot.

    I suggest that you think about yourself, him, and your relationship with him, as it relates to your life, in general. If you see a relationship with him as an escape... that may not be healthy. He's just a person, after all, as are you. By many people's standards, it's a bit rash to engage without having met the person. Also, you're both very young, and marriage is a big commitment... After trying to objectively think about your situation and his, perhaps you'll find some more clarity and insight into possible options, and perhaps your resolve will just strengthen.
     
    #5 LD579, Jun 24, 2013
  6. Momosboy

    Momosboy
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    *nods* Well, we weren't thinking of getting married for a few YEARS anyway. I don't think of the relationship as an escape, though. I want to go on typical dates, go get ice cream, go to a movie, have dinner in a resturant, even go to a museum with him. Ever since we got back together, I've been happier (my parents broke us up, just so you know, the first time), and I've seen an improvement in him, too. When I've asked his other father, (I call him Papa) if we could work out forever, he thought that, yes, we could.
     
    #6 Momosboy, Jun 24, 2013
  7. robotman

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    It sounds like a lovely kind of romantic situation but as other posters have said, I think you need to meet him in person and stuff before you commit to moving into a place with him, its a big step.
     
    #7 robotman, Jun 24, 2013
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