You know what? I still can't accept being bisexual. I have posted in here because you guys are awesome. But once I leave and go back to my real life, I feel so lonely and pathetic. I love my family and friends but I don't think they'll be able to see me as before me (which i still am) after I tell them. How am I going to do this when there's so much drama going around my family, like my sister coming home after her boyfriend gave her a black eye. Brothers baby mama trying to keep him away from us so we can't see him and the drama never ends. I just don't want to bring it up, like ever! Friends saying they hate gays and bisexuals ect.. Some times I don't even want to be here anymore? I just want to be gone? I don't even want to live here anymore, I just want to move to somewhere like Vancouver or anywhere suitable but away from here. I even considered suicide once? Because I couldn't handle the pressure of being hated. How do you guys/girls do it? How do you get through life with people who don't like gay/bisexuals?
Don't pay attention to your family's problems if you are dealing with your own. This will only add to suicidal ideation and worsen your depression. I was dealing with being gay while my parents were seperating, dad was dealing with cancer, 22 year old sister got knocked up by a scum bag, and my dad had to declare bankruptcy. I had the same thoughts, no one cares about you, but they do, they just have their own things going on. Though you may need the support, sometimes it isn't good to add to a bad situation. So try getting more support on here and from friends, understand your family would be there for you if they didn't have to deal with other crap. I felt trapped with my dad's illness, parents divorce and financial problems, plus my poor sister getting knocked up(it was HER FIRST EVER BOYFRIEND who ditched after baby was born). I really felt like my problems would never be addressed, and yea I did get neglected in those years and developed drug habits I most likely wouldn't have gotten away with if I lived in a "normal" home, but if I also never tried to properly address the situation, and sort of "gave-up" because the stress was too much. Which I should have never done, and you should never do. Being a teenager sucks, I had to deal with acne problems, self-esteem problems, on top of being gay, plus I had no support from family or friends. But that lack of support was my own fault, so I advise you to just talk it out, even if it is online, it's good to write your feelings sometimes. I bet you feel better just from posting what you already did. P.S I live in the Toronto area; easily gay mecca of North America, and unless you are in the actual city, you are going to encounter homophobia. Especially in my area. So escaping Winnipeg won't do much, unless you are planning on moving downtown any city; which can be expensive especially in Vancouver. So I would focus on building on what you have, and enjoying your area for what it offers and not what it doesn't. I live in a backwards country town, but I couldn't imagine living in a city, living in a gay-centric area doesn't beat my area regardless of the homophobia.
