For a while now, I have thought that I loved my straight best friend. However, I now believe it may be obsession. I have been friends with him for 3 years and I have liked him for about a year now. He is the only person who knows I am gay. I have even told him that I love him. He accepts it all, and continues to support me. I'm here because I do not know if I love him or I am deeply obsessed with him. I would text him at least once a day. I ALWAYS think of him, and cannot concentrate on anything else (school, family, etc.). I ask him to hang out every weekend. My heart beats every time I am about to see him. He is the subject of ALL my sexual fantasies. He is very cute and has a great personality. However, this is where things get a little worse: If he even talks to another guy friend, I get EXTREMELY jealous. I can't stand to see him hang out with, text, talk to, or laugh with another guy. I know he is straight and he will never love me, but I still want to be with him. If he is texting another guy when I'm with him, I take his phone. If I know he is hanging out with someone else, I get very angry and frustrated. I always find a way to find out his schedule and if he's hanging out with someone else. I always ask him to hang out before others can, to ensure he will hang out with me and not them. I am always afraid to go out with my family on weekends because I'm afraid he will talk to someone else. My main point is that I get very jealous when he's with other, and I want to be the only person in his life. Am I obsessed or in love, or even both? Thanks for any help.
Maybe a little of both and bordering on obsession.... You have to set some boundaries for yourself and stop thinking of him in a romantic sense, and if you have a difficult time doing that, you may need to create some space from him. It's great that you have a friend that supports you, but it's not fair to him for you to act out negatively just because he hangs out with other guys. Those reactions are what you need to control... I would hate to see your friendship become strained because of this. Don't take what you have for granted. You have a friend who accepts you even though he knows how you feel about him. I've been through this, and I had to learn to love my friend as a friend only and nothing more..... It may be tough, but it can be done.
Yea we decided to take a 4 week break from talking to each other while he's at summer camp. Hopefully that will help a little. Thanks for the advice!!
