I love my Mum, I really do. She's been there for me through all the friendship arguments, and the mad panics about homework, and everything. I just, I find her way too overbearing... I'm hardly the most rebellious person, I do all my work, I rarely get drunk, don't go to many parties. There's never been a reason for her to be over-protective of me. But I suppose it's kind of enforced it. She still thinks I'm her little girl... It's also one of the reasons why I haven't come out to my parents, because I don't want to be a disappointment that I'm not the normal little girl that she wants (I'm an only child, probably makes the whole thing worse...) The talk about moving to University has been big recently, and I think she's realised I'm going to be moving away, and doing my own things, but I feel like I haven't really experienced life yet. A lot of other people in my year at school have gotten drunk, done drugs, gone to raving parties. I don't necessarily want to do that, I just feel really naive when it comes to everything that even relates to the matter... I suppose I feel like my mum has wrapped me in cotton wool all my life, and now I'm finally gonna be escaping that I'm scared. I suppose what I'm trying to ask is, do you think I should talk to my mum about it? I don't even know what I would do if she did cut me a bit of slack, I'm hardly going to go out binge drinking at the first opportunity (I'd much rather sit in with a book). Or do you think I should just wait until I'm at Uni so I can spread my wings then? Thanks in advance for anyone who replies to this...
I personally have the same problem but I have another year before university, *sigh* I'm waiting because I don't want to cause too many waves. (Thats me the queen of non confrontation) :dry: It's hard to be responsible and grown up if you are never given a chance. It's also very frustrating. My parents and i have had many arguments about going out, making my own mistakes, and growing up. I'm sure your mom knows you are going to party and get drunk and such (mine does) but she still wants to protect her "little girl" no matter how frustrating it is for you. Everytime go out with friends I get the: don't put your drink down, you could be drugged, speech. You may know your age and maturity level but you will always be a crying toddler in her mind (unfortunately) :dry: :lol: My advice is hang in there so that you don't have to explain the next day or go behind her back. Thats my opinion and that's what I'm doing partially out of the fear of consequences, mostly because I value the relationship I have with my mother and don't want to jeopardize it as I know how she would react if I did something. Hope that helped!
Yep, we're definitely very similar. I have another year until Uni too, we've just been visiting around them, with the applications starting soon, I think my Mum's a bit freaked by it all. I can't wait! She did bring up the subject, and asked me if she was too suffocating. I really didn't want to make a scene, so I deflected and said 'no'. Part of me wishes I'd confronted her about it, but like, I'm not so great at that. I might just wait. It's not like I'd do anything if she did give me the freedom anyway. I suppose there wouldn't be much change then. Half of me is scared to go to Uni because I feel so naive, but then the other half just wants the independence...
I've just finished my first year at uni in the UK . Generally speaking, wherever you go, there will be a social emphasis on drinking, especially at freshers, as this is the time to get to know everyone, and it's most people's first time away from home and they want to be a bit naughty. If you're not a big party person, that is fine, but you might find it easier on yourself to make a bit more of an effort for the first couple of weeks while you find your feet etc. I'm not saying get really drunk all the time etc, hell if you don't want to drink at all, people might be a bit pushy to begin with but if you stand your ground they soon accept it. Also, the drugs/raving idea is not really something I would worry about too much, if there are any people like that around, you'll find out very quickly and it will be easy to stay clear of them, especially if you join societies and groups where you will be one of many very similar people. Your course colleagues will also be a good source of friends so once you have your little groups of friends sorted you really don't need to worry about any of the things that seem to be concerning you at the moment. I had a great first year at uni and I'm sure you will too. If you've got any questions you'd like answering about uni and stuff feel free to PM me, I'm not sure how many people on here are uni students in the UK
Glad to be a help!! Also thanks DrAdam for the insight its niceto have some real prespectve on the uni experience, I'm in Canada but I'm sure it's similar! ^.^
