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Found out crush is bisexual

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Adarya, Jun 26, 2013.

  1. Adarya

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    When I saw it I felt happy inside; like suddenly there was hope. But now that I'm coming back down to reality I don't really know how to react. I've been convincing myself for so long that she was straight, and now suddenly it's different. I'll admit that I still have feelings for her- she is my first female serious crush and the one that helped me to realize my sexuality- but I don't know how to advance from here. I want her to be my friend no matter what and I don't want to put stress or awkwardness on the relationship. At the same time, I want to make a move or at least show her that I might be interested. Does anyone have any advice of what I should do?
     
  2. livinglifefree

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    I think you should go for it. If she is a really good friend, your feelings won't change anything if they aren't returned. It is better to take action than spending time wondering what if.
     
  3. MtnFr3sh

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    Good for you! Good luck! :grin: Go for it girl!
     
  4. Adarya

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    I was thinking about having a more serious conversation with her and addressing our feelings sometime... I thought that might be a good way of getting our emotions out on the table and everything.
     
  5. 2112

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    I'd just give her small hints and see what her reaction is. If she acts interested, go a little further. If not, make it look like a joke.
     
  6. livinglifefree

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    I think having a serious conversation is the easiest way. Then you can both be direct and know where the other stands.
     
  7. Steak is food

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    It really does depend on the sort of person that your friend is. Do they pick up on subtle hints? If they do then it might be best to try going down the hinting path and see what happens, I have a feeling that if they felt the same way that would be the best way. If they don't though........it may not go well.

    On the other hand, if hinting at things really doesn't work with this person then there is no point wasting time trying to hint at your feelings. As I said it depends on the type of person, go with what you think would work the best.
     
  8. srslywtf

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    Honestly I think the serious conversation would kinda kill the vibe.

    I've done that before!

    I think just act naturally and maybe fool about a bit and see what happens.. If she's a good friend you wont lose her.

    Basically the serious talk is fine if she feels the same way toward you, but if she doesn't, the serious talk ends and it seems much more likely to rather than being in a fun/silly mood, youll be kinda like.. oooooohhhhhk. well then. *awkward silence*
     
  9. MerBear

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    See, i know ..i'm going to get a lot of hate for this but My ex is one reason, why ..i avoid bisexual girls (Please, dont take this person)....I wouldn't avoid bisexual girls or even have anything against the label if i wasn't hurt by her. She fell for some guy...and i KNOW that's not her fault but it hurt me soo much and you know why?

    because she led me on to thinking she was into me this whole time, she would flirt with me, make nice comments and some sexual comments and I felt hoepful

    and one day, she was like "well, i met this guy and he makes me feel so amazing ...he haven't had sex yet but whatever. I love him"

    and my heart just dropped.

    I think, I'm scared of dating a bisexual girl because i'm scared she'll fall for some guy and leave me...

    Please, dont get wrong. I dont hate bisexual or think theyl will cheat ....I'm just worried they will fall for some guy and leave me....it seems to always go that way
     
  10. gravechild

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    How is that any worse than leaving you for a girl?
     
  11. MerBear

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    its not, I never said that it wasn't worse...I just dont want a repeat....to be reminded of what she did and if a girl left me for another girl, i would be probably a little more upset but what my ex did regardless of what gender she fell for hurt me and if that happened again, i dont think i could handle it

    I hope someone understands that.

    ---------- Post added 28th Jun 2013 at 06:39 PM ----------

    i know, i came out rude, i apologize
     
    #11 MerBear, Jun 28, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2013
  12. Femmeme

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    Well sugar, you get what you give.
     
  13. MerBear

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    i didn't mean to set people off, i just thought, i should share my input....
    see this why, i dont share my opinion anymore because people get pissed off at me for sharing my opinion.

    I'm sorry if i offended anyone....i just wanted give my opinion and experience, remind me never to do that again.

    I thought, i could openly do it but apparently not because its not in anyones favour
     
  14. Femmeme

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    If your opinion is prejudice people will react negatively. I'm sorry tmyou dated a terrible person, but orientation has nothing to do with being a shitty person. You can claim you don't think that's true, but the fact that came into this thread to say you don't date bisexuals proves otherwise.

    You're biphobic, admit it and deal with.
     
  15. MerBear

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    I'm not biphobic. I came in this thread because could relate some....and i just wanted to share my opinion but its really more of a worry of being hurt again the same way she hurt me ....

    Look, think what you want. I'm not biphobic and I know, i'm not and the fact, you think that is humorous in a way

    My fear of getting hurt the same way is not biphoic in any way. Sorry but im not the only one who thinks this
     
  16. Quaiv

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    @Adarya: same as srslywtf here, unless she's totally oblivious, she'll pick up on your hints and react (positively or negatively, depending on her feelings for you). I've been in her position before, and she'll have three options: if she likes you, she can either opt for the direct approach or start flirting too, and if she doesn't, she'll have to tell you directly (even if she tries to ignore it for a while).
    With all that, I wish you luck! :icon_wink
     
  17. Femmeme

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    OP, my apologies for the hijack.

    Are you out to your crush? If so just keep trying to spend as much time with her as you can. The best relationships have a strong foundation of friendship. Friendship and a little flirting will get you pretty far.
     
  18. GayTornado

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    Lucky son of a-

    All that aside, go for it! I would love it if my crush was bi/gay! If you have feelings for her, just have a serious talk with her about your feelings and go from there!
     
  19. Adarya

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    To answer your question; Yes, I am out to my crush. I've also been dropping hints for quite a while already and I'm sure that she knows (or at least knew) of my feelings. She's smart, so unless I've been getting the completely wrong signals she's picked up on the hints.We've had a long separation- practically a year with only about two in person interactions-, but we've been talking over the internet, texting, etc. We'll definitely have more interaction in the future (we'll be in the same school again, and we share some extracurriculars), but I'm still hesitant about what will happen when we try to pick up our relationship where we left off. I've been thinking about getting into the groove of things first- becoming good friends again in person, not just over the computer- before I maybe start flirting. Her friendship comes first in my mind. The only problem with that plan is that I'm terrible at flirting (because I've never really done it :icon_redf), but I might be able to eventually try.

    ---------- Post added 30th Jun 2013 at 12:27 AM ----------

    I am able to get where you're coming from and what you're thinking, but I think that there's always the possibility of someone leaving you for another person; it's practically a fact of dating/relationships. It shouldn't matter if that person leaves for a guy or a girl and it shouldn't be a reason to advise others to stay out of relationships with a bisexual person. I am able to see that you've had a bad experience and that is where your opinion is coming from, but I trust that if I were to be in a relationship with a person that is bisexual- like the girl I have a crush for- I would understand that they could eventually leave me for a guy. Honestly, it wouldn't bother me any more than having her leave me for another girl.
     
  20. Femmeme

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    There's a kind of Jedi Mind Trick I work on myself when I was to flirt with someone. I convince myself that they are going to be thrilled that I like them, then when I'm talking to them I keep the idea of the two of us together as a couple in my head and the flirty just flows naturally from keeping those two thought in the front of my mind. When I do this I end up flirting in a sweet, natural way without even meaning to. I wish I could explain it better, but I used to be AWFUL at flirting till I stumbled into this.

    Good Luck!