My mom has always been generally accepting of things while my dad has not. They don't know about my sexuality. Thing is though, I only plan on telling them about it if and only if I end up getting into a romantic relationship with a girl, genderneutral, or transgender person. I am not in any sort of romantic relationship right now, but I've been watching how they react to things. My mom seems to cringe whenever I mention my bi friend that has a girlfriend (my friend is a girl). She doesn't seem to care about my guy friends that are gay. Then today my friend that's ftm trans came over today and as soon as he left my mom goes "Is he really a guy?" And she refuses to believe that he's really a boy. My sister reacted the same way which completely surprised me. Then there was another time when I was with my mom at walmart and we saw a person that made my mom ask me if I thought the person was a boy or a girl. I asked her why it mattered, but she didn't answer. I then just replied that the person could be a number of genders. My mom replied that there were only two genders. I then tried to educate her on the difference between sex and gender and gender neutrality. She didn't react too well to it. I don't think she really listened to me though. She used to be so accepting of other people. She used to care about LGBTQ people, but lately she's been listening to conservative christian radio and I think it rotted and warped her brain (no offense to religious people, it's just this radio station is of crazy people that are not good christians.) Now my dad has always been a homophobic, abusive, :***:. Lately he's been calling me gay and a lesbian to insult me. It doesn't bother me that he calls me that, what bothers me is that he uses them as insults. That is not okay. I really wish he was more accepting. Bottom line is I don't think it'll ever be a good idea to tell them about my sexuality. But if I ever do marry someone that's not a guy, I don't want to completely distance myself or hide myself from them just because I don't want them to hate me. I know my dad will hate me if he finds out I'm pansexual. I can't have him finding out before I move out of the house. My mom on the other hand, it would bother me if she hated me. I don't know what to do....:tears:
You're definitely in a tricky situation, and I can't express how much it bothers me that people can't accept or even understand that quite a significant amount of the human population are LGBT - because it's natural. I'm not sure if I can be of much help, but here's my story. I'm a 21 year old female and have known that I'm attracted to girls since I was 11. I was always way too scared to come out because about half of my family is homophobic, so I decided that I would just wait until I was seriously into/with a girl. Finally, late last year, I met someone at college. We would chat for ages over Facebook and then eventually through text message, and then of course would meet up to hang out. She kissed me one night whilst out for drinks, and from that point onwards, it was love. We were inseperable, we went away together for a weekend and both had our first sexual experience with a woman. So for about five months we were secretly a couple. We spoke about getting a place and a dog together, travelling together, being able to spend all day in bed on the weekends, all that cliche stuff. That is, until her mom became suspicious and found out the truth about us. Her mother is extremely homophobic. At first, she said she didn't approve but tolerated us. That soon changed though - she began making my girl's life miserable at home, her brother would start fights with her, and she nearly had to move out. A couple of weeks ago, my girl ended our 'relationship' a couple of weeks ago because her mum will never approve of her being with a girl, and I was absolutely devastated, after having waited several years before finding someone and falling in love, only to have her taken away. My mom could sense that something was wrong, and so I finally came out to her. She was suprised and a little upset I think, but in a way we have become a lot closer ever since. I won't tell my dad until I've found another girl (when really, I just want my previous girl back). That girl and I caught up for the first time since the 'break up' on Saturday, she eventually started crying and saying how hard it is to let go of me after everything we've been through, we ended up kissing and even having sex again. But it doesn't look like we'll ever be together for real I guess what I'm trying to say is that it probably won't ever be easy, there'll be heart break and heartache and people standing in your way - but this is YOUR life, sure, you could use it to please everyone around you, or you could use it to please YOURSELF. You're going to have to be careful, and strong, and prepared for the worst because of your homophobic parents, but I believe that anything is possible, so once you've met someone and are able to be more independant (move out of home), slowly begin outing yourself and supporting your parents who may be upset/disappointed at first, but will surely still want you in their lives. Is it really worth losing a daughter because she's not heterosexual? I don't believe so, although I guess others might. Good luck honey.
