After my last posts, I got back in contact with my ex, and learned there was a lot of misunderstandings. (Most of them had to do with me assuming) I had asked her about everything that upset me and she explained it to me honestly, and she even revealed to me that the time we spent apart, she realized she really liked me and wanted me back. We discussed this and I realized that I wanted a chance again myself but I wanted to be entirely sure this was something I actually wanted. I realize now that when I was acting the way I was it was out of confusion and hurt not knowing about the situation. So I told her I needed the week to think about things and meanwhile we caught up and talked about everything and anything. I realized that somehow I had buried what feelings i still have deep and when we started talking and laughing and joking around I started feeling for her again. In the months we weren't talking she's changed drastically, she's seeming to be a lot more like her old self and she's even talking of moving closer to me,and a family friend as she's not happy where she lives, and we've talked about how that will be really good for her and that she'd really benefit from it all. My question has to do with my mother and brother. After we started talking again, my mom was clearly upset that I was even talking to her. She's never met her but she was upset over the things that occurred with me and the ex(now gf again) and I thought I could confide in her with this all but it turned out that confiding always ends up with her passing judgement and not even trying to get to know her. If i mention her name, she won't respond. As for my brother he's been neutral. He's been glad that we talk and are working things out but I think he's hesitant around her (he met her and talked to her twice via Skype) and worries that I'm not being cautious enough(I have been, it shows when I told her that we should take things at the pace we are; we've been taking it a heck of a lot slower this time around as I thought it would be best for both of us). Well, my girlfriend is noticing this all. She's felt so bad about what happened and her family absolutely loves me...so there's no trouble there. She's had a lot go on recently which overwhelmed her and I came to the conclusion she took it out on me. I just don't know what to do. It upsets my girlfriend that they won't give her a chance to even explain herself and for them to even see the good qualities. And I know some of this has to do with how my emotions were during the time she and I were apart. I confided in both my family members for the first month and a half, until I realized they weren't helping and then my counselor took over the rest. I want this all to work, but I don't know how to approach my family about their feelings towards her. I haven't told them we're trying again yet because I'm trying to let things settle and heal before I even mention it. Can someone help me with this?
This is similar to what my brother went through with his ex gf. He confided in my mom because he had no one else and now my mom would like to hit her with a car. Lol. Moms will always want to protect their children. Your mom's disdain is coming from a place of love. She just doesn't want to see you hurt again. You just need to sit your mom down and have an honest conversation with her. Tell her that while you confided the issues of your relationship with her, that you did not mention all of the positive points. Tell her how your gf makes you feel now and that the risk of being hurt is worth it for a chance at real love. That is the best advice I can give.
Mother's are always going to be weary of people that have hurt or can hurt their child. My mom has a big problem with the guy my sister is currently dating, and living with. She won't bother to get to know him, hates that she's with him, and the list just goes on. I know he is a decent nice guy, because I have gotten to know him, and my sister knows that he is a decent nice guy, and that's all that matters. She doesn't care what my mother thinks, because she knows shes wrong. So I wouldn't base who you date off your parents, tell your mother to get to know her before she judges someone as horrible.
