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Should I trust him?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Dins3label, Jul 1, 2013.

  1. Dins3label

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    So I've only recently come out (A little over 3 months ago) and it has been great thus far. I've really come out of my shell and met some cool guys, just not any I think I want to be in a serious relationship with.

    I have an app that matches me with other guys based on a social media connection. Essentially, the app lets me "like" a guy based on a couple of photos and if he likes me back, we can start a chat conversation.

    I've gotten quite a bit of matches that are close to me (the app also tells you in miles how far away they are).

    Recently, I got one such match with a really cute guy. He is real. He facebook friended me, has a ton of posts, pictures and friends, and is from the area. We've been talking quite frequently for the past couple of days.

    I'm just nervous what his intentions are overall. He really does seem like a nice guy and has never been pushy in the conversations we've had. But I'm definitely sure he wants to hook up and probably go much farther. He is 23, and I'm 18 (almost 19). He has a lot more experience under his belt.

    He wants to meet up at some point and I suggested that he comes to my friends house for a party on saturday. He agreed but then also suggested that we hang out sooner, on wednesday.

    I guess my main concerns are 1) should I meet up with this guy if I only met him on this site and 2) I haven't really gotten to the point of sex and I don't want to unless I'm in a committed relationship first.

    I've found myself in a quandary and I'd really like some advice on the issue. Thanks a ton in advance.
     
  2. greatwhale

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    Hi!
    I'm glad to see you're in the dating game and that things are moving along.

    You expressed your concerns very well, and you have stated that you have certain boundaries that are important to you, such as sex within a committed relationship. Fine, that is what you want and that is what it should be.

    He does have an advantage over you in terms of experience, and as someone who is basically in his prime, you are very much desirable, which also means that you do have to be extra careful.

    I think you are right to meet him first with your friends, this has the advantage of them getting to know him as well, and for you to see how he interacts with people.

    After the party, play it by ear. You have set the boundary of sex within a relationship, there is no reason to compromise on this. At the very least, go on a few dates with him before doing anything else, it takes time to get to know someone, even if they seem nice in the beginning.
     
  3. Dins3label

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    Well... he wants to meet on wednesday before the party, and bring drinks over to my house. I asked him if he was just keen on hooking up and he said he really does want to get to know me as well, but that he just got out of a relationship.

    "at the very least, just friends with some potential benefits ;-)"

    I don't know what to think... Is it a good idea to explore the possibilities?
     
  4. greatwhale

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    You need to ask yourself why you are debating this...it certainly is tempting to start things, isn't it? But him bringing drinks raises some alarm bells to my mind.

    Again, what are your boundaries, what is acceptable to you? Is the debate in your mind one between desire and fear? What will happen to those boundaries when you add alcohol into the mix?

    What's wrong with meeting him for the first time somewhere public? Given what you've laid out here, I just think it's all just way too fast...