Um hi everyone? I think i posted this but I think it's been deleted somehow, I couldn't find this...anyway this is about one of my guy friends. He's thirteen, and he thinks that he's bisexual. The "emotional" part of him loves his girlfriend dearly and is monogamous, but he has sexual desire for several of my classmates. This is sorta unhealthy to me (that he wants to have sex with SEVERAL boys...) Also he fantasizes about the whole fifty shades being dominated thing. And he watches gay porn (highly inappropriate to me as we're only 13 and underage). I'm wondering whether he being labeled "gay" by our peers has any impact on this - they call him that not because of his sexual orientation but because he likes female musicians (Madonna etc) and likes imitating them singing and dancing, and his body build is slim. Also he has not and doesn't plan to tell anyone else, especially not his parents as they are a Catholic family. I'm wondering if this is just normal doubting yourself in adolescence or is he really bisexual? Please help me, any response would be great, I really want to help him, thanks!
Confusion over your sexuality most likely happens around 13 ish. I definitely started doubting. 'Phases' are known, and I think it's completely normal for teenagers to experiment or at least doubt themselves to some extent. Honestly, I didn't fully know until I was around 15, it does take time. As for being 'really bisexual', I think it honestly takes time to figure out who you are. Regardless of if the view will continue or not, right now, he believes he is bisexual, and that's all that matters. It might be a bit wibbly wobbly, hormones do that. And the common consensus is that sexuality is fluid, you're not set at one specific sexuality. There was a time when I actually thought I liked guys, and only guys. I would just support him. Let him talk to you if he needs it. You're clearly a really awesome friend if you're posting on here After a while, being in the closet can be very constricting, and it gets harder the longer you are in, although I have had no experience with homophobic parents (although I am still not out to my parents, I believe they would be relatively accepting). Be there for him. It's a hell of a confusing time, probably for you both. Good luck
Actually, it's not that bad that he watches porn. If he watches it a lot, then it may be detrimental, but otherwise, that's only a year earlier after I had started, to be honest. I'm quite alright now, and don't watch it anymore but I'd like to say that it is normal to watch it if you're young. It's a kind of experimenting. It's also not bad that he likes the idea of being dominated. That's a common fantasy that many people have and it usually is harmless. If he likes guys in your class sexually, that is kind of interesting but it shouldn't be a problem, honestly. If he starts to act... oddly around them, and it bothers them, then it may be a problem. It may be too soon to tell if he's bisexual. He's young, and so are you. He may be bisexual, or he may not. He has a long while to figure it out, if he's this self-aware already. All you can do is support him for now as an openminded friend. Cheers to you, and continue to ask and post here and you may be able to help him even more as a friend =)
