Hey guys, I'm 18 years old...and I'm closeted. As in no one in this world knows about me being gay. And I plan to keep it that way since I live in a community where it is extremely wrong to be gay. I've been feeling lonely for quite some time so I made a profile on an application that let's you meet other mutual people around you. I had real info put it but the name is not my name and I didn't put a pic of myself. Now I've been talking to some gay guys and most of them didn't seem like the real deal. But I began talking to this one guy...and he's kind of perfect. He's closeted as well since his name was not real and the photo wasn't of him. So he kind of understands me. We've been talking nonstop for the past 2 days. He told me his real name and wanted to show me his real pic but I got really scared of showing who I really was. He even gave me his number and I refused to give him mine for now. I told him I wanted to take things slow. But I'm just really really really scared that anyone would actually find out. I'm just a paranoid person, I keep thinking that I actually might be talking to someone I know which makes me more paranoid. Or what if this guy knows someone I know? I just freak out at those thoughts and I chicken out in giving him my number. I gave him my real name and what I do and he did the same. He says he can be patient until I'm ready to go further...but I don't know if I should. Any advice?
I might just be paranoid, and I understand how hard it is to be closeted - I only just came out to my mother after hiding it for nine years (luckily she's fine with it), but you can never really trust who you meet on the internet. Just be very cautious and don't go meeting up with anyone because they may be a predator!
If you do meet up, it would have to be in a public place during the Day, I would choose a Coffee Shop, as he seems to be openly Gay & wants to give you his photo, then let him, that way you know who to look for when you meet, as he won't know what you look like, you will have an advantage, if the Guy in the photo is not in the Coffee shop then walk away, if he is then go for it
Yeah I agree with DublinBoy... I am closeted and I'm trying to look aswell as I am not ready to come out yet, just be careful, people give fake pictures and things.
Maybe best to be " out " before you try these apps .. Then you'll be less paranoid? Or just be careful!
Thanks for the replies...but to anyone who said "come out"...that is definitely not an option for me. If anyone has more advice please post them, am still looking for answers
Well I'm not going to lie, it's no coincidence that you've decided to stay closeted for the rest of your life and that you're feeling lonely and isolated. If you want to change the latter, changing the former is going to help a lot. Is it possible for you to relocate at all, even if just to somewhere nearby that is more accepting? As for this guy, it sounds like he's not pressuring you to move faster than you want, which is good. I can understand being paranoid about revealing information to him, but he knows your name and where you work, and you know his info, and nothing has happened, right? He's even given you his phone number without getting yours in return so far. And even if it turns out you do know him - so what? This actually seems like it would be a good thing - it might be nice to know that someone you know in real life is actually gay, too. Overall, there's not much more advice to give than keep doing what you're doing. If you want to be in touch with him, then be in touch with him, and don't give out more info than you want to give. But if you attach this to wanting to stay in the closet forever and never tell anyone you're gay, then it doesn't leave you a lot of options. And again...you've already told him who you were, and the world didn't end.
