If I wrote our entire story you'd be reading for hours, so I'll keep it short and sweet. I'm 21 and she's 20, we had basically been in a relationship the past 4 months (after being close for 9) and were very happy together. But when she came out to her mom, everything was ruined. Her mom is homophobic and was making my 'girlfriend's life miserable, so a couple of weeks ago she made the decision to 'break up' with me because she doesn't think her mom will ever accept her being in a same sex relationship, and she doesn't want to lose her family. We caught up for the first time since last week and she began to cry because she still loves me and we even slept together. She's been upset the past week and said she hates her life and misses me a lot. She always messages me first but finds it hard to talk to me sometimes. No matter how much I try to tell myself that I'm able to move on, I keep breaking down and just want to be with her again, we had something really great. Does she still love me? Can we make it work? Please help
I may be missing something, but it sounds like she told you she still loves you, right? If so, that answers that question. As far as what to do about it...obviously she's going through a rough time with her family, and she just may not be able to handle being in a relationship at the moment. I'm guessing that she's struggling with it, since she's really not following her parents' wishes in letter or in spirit (based on still meeting with you and being in touch with you), but she's not completely going against them either. What kind of support network does she have? Are there other friends she can talk to about this in the meantime? Or is she only really out to you? As much as I'm sure you want to be there for her (and that is undoubtedly helpful for her), having someone to talk to who will be accepting and who isn't you or her parents may actually help her sort things out a lot - a kind of neutral zone for her, so to speak. If she doesn't have that, then you might want to be careful about how close you are with her - it may feel much better in the moment, but in a wider sense it's probably perpetuating the conflict she's feeling right now.
are you two really young? and is this the main reason why she can't go against her parents? all you can do really is accept that the moment isn't right for you two now, and continue to be close and be friends while taking comfort in the fact that she hasn't lost love for you, it's just not working out for reasons beyond your control. maybe you guys can get another chance later in life when it's more convenient and if you remain friends you can pick up where you left off. but try not to stress too much about being together or not, just support each other in these tough times. god luck to you both!
