Hello Everyone when I was young I never knew about the gay world. I was brought up in a Christian church around Christian family. When I was young, I was at my cousins pool party with my family. I was only 6 years old. I was ready to get out of the pool and so I went upstairs. To change into my play clothes. My older cousin son open and locked the door from behind him and while I was trying to get dressed he started to touch me. Now being in church, I was told by my family that was wrong so I tried to leave but I couldn't cuz he was much stronger than I was. He molested me and I never told anyone after cuz I was so shocked. Now this happened more frequently than usual everytime I went over there while my mom was going out I was constantly molested and threatened if i told anyone. When I was 12 I went to their new house and it had an upstairs and downstairs. My cousin mother went out and I was left with my uncle and him. My uncle was sleep and my cousin told me that I couldn't sleep on their new couch and that his mother was bringing company to the house so I had to sleep in his bed. I layed in his bed and he was laying on the other side he decided to get up and put on a porn and get in bed and feel on me. I got up and went back downstairs and on the way he grabbed me and told me if i didn't have sex with him he was going to tell my mom and his mom that i was touching him. I said do what gotta do then cuz im finished. I was expecting to get in trouble but turns out he never told. When i got older guys were flirting with me and I never had love from a girl before. I had a gf but it didn't last cuz she was a closeted lesbian. I had gotten caught watching gay porn and my mom tried to beat me with a broom and thats when they knew I was gay. My mom denied it until she decided to take my phone while was sleeping she went through it and saw the pictures of guys and deleted it I found out when I got up to go to the bathroom and my phone was missing so the next day I told her that I was molested and im attracted to men. She said how and I told her the story and I told that I got aroused and scared at the same time that's how i knew I was attracted to men. this was when i was 18 now im twenty and she constantly reminding me that its an abomination to god. My personal issue is that you can't help what you love whether its a man or woman so what do you do in this situation should you stop being gay because of the religious background you come from and be miserable not loving what you love (which is men) or just continue to choose your own path??
You can't really "stop being gay" - you could accept it and try to be as happy as you can, or you could repress it and make yourself miserable living a lie, but you can't just decide to be not attracted to men anymore. What kind of church do you go to? Not all churches reject gay people, and maybe it would be helpful to talk to someone at a different church - whether just for you, or for your mom as well, though I don't know how open she would be to this idea.
Listen to me. Being Christian has nothing to do with being gay or bi or straight or whatever. It's as simple as this: Do you treat others with respect, kindness, and compassion? Do you go through life being generous, helpful, and friendly? Do you believe in God? If you are a good person, and you believe in God, then you are Christian, no matter what your parents or family or community or pastor says. Being gay is not a sin. You are not an abomination. You are you. Nothing more, nothing less. Don't let your parents take away your religion from you. Jesus always taught people to be accepting and kind to those who are different from one's self. One doesn't have to believe what someone else believes, do what someone else does, or love like someone else does to be able to accept that it is someone else's reality. If your parents and your family can't get it through their heads that you're still the person you always were, and if they can't accept your reality, then they are the ones turning their backs on their religious beliefs, not you. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN YOUR RELIGION AND YOUR LOVE. If God is as powerful and as omnipresent as Christians believe, then it is not a stretch to imagine that he is aware that gay people exist. I haven't seen anything like Sodom and Gomorrah happen. In short, God, with all his power, has done nothing to stop gay people. In fact, acceptance of gays has gotten better and better and better, because God wants people to be compassionate and understanding. Wake up every day knowing that you've been put on this earth by God in order to do something amazing, to do His work. You are here because the world needs you here, to broaden people's horizons and to remind people of their duty to be loving and compassionate to everyone, not just people like them. It's that simple. Just because your Mom can't see it, doesn't mean you should let her tie a blindfold over your eyes and emotionally torture you.
I don`t think that it would be a good idea to hide your orientation. Of course it is possible, but you can not stop being gay. You just can "try to believe" that you are straight, you can get married, have kids and lie that you are happy. But the truth is that you will just lie yourself, you will hurt your wife and your kids. Do you think that it`ll be great to live like this? And after some years you`ll be mad at yourself that you choose the wrong way and you didn`t live the life to the fullest and you weren`t happy. I`m Protestant, but it doesn`t mean that I have to be ashamed about my orientation, I didn`t choose it. I was born with it, and I won`t change it. Hope you`ll finally find the best way for you and you will be grateful for the chance you get. Btw. sorry for my bad English ---------- Post added 4th Jul 2013 at 09:27 PM ---------- Thanks for your post. I will use these arguments during my conversation with my family
Have you tried talking to a therapist? It's horrible you were sexually assaulted against your will; being gay or straight gives no justification. These experiences are going to haunt you until you deal with them. Don't listen to what your mom says; it's her problem if she can't accept a fundamental part of who you are. It's great you realize love between two people is the same no matter what their sexualities are. Probably one of simplest things to do is follow the golden rule ("do unto others as you would have them do unto you"), and that doesn't require being part of a specific denomination (or even religion). You might check out this page giving advice on living as a gay Christian, and the great debate about what homosexuals should do (note that no one says being gay itself is something to be hated). I personally take the side A viewpoint. The Great Debate | The Gay Christian Network
