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The Great Thread of Puns (and other terrible jokes)

Discussion in 'Fun and Games' started by Jinkies, Feb 2, 2014.

  1. Jinkies

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    So based on some threads (and other posts here and there), it seems like there are quite a few of us that like puns. So why shouldn't we have a thread solely dedicated to the fantastic art of puns?

    Puns can be posted in text, in pictures, audio (ie #######), videos, etc.

    Only rule about this thread is that whatever puns/jokes are made can't be derogatory towards any group of people. I should hope people understand what this entails.

    [YOUTUBE]SRH-Ywpz1_I[/YOUTUBE]
     
  2. Just Jess

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    You know I had a long list of puns in the pocket of my camouflage pants, but now I can't find them.

    I think I remember one. One time my friends and I were playing poker in a tent, when suddenly a corner came loose and it collapsed in on us. It turns out we got lazy when we were putting it up, and the stakes were too high.
     
  3. Lawrence

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    When is a door not a door? When it's ajar! (say it aloud) Is that terrible enough? I think it is!
     
  4. Ruprect

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    The puns the pants or both.

    So a mushroom bellies up to a bar and tries to order a beer only to be told by the bartender that they don't serve beer to mushrooms. The mushroom dejectedly asks "why not? I'm a fungi."
     
  5. TheStudent

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    French bakers hate me, I feel their pain.

    Apologies for that terrible pun...
     
  6. BryanM

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    What's Michelle Obama's favorite vegetable? Barack-oli. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  7. Just Jess

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    A boy scout troop went on a hike. Crossing over a stream, one of
    the boys dropped his wallet into the water. Suddenly a carp jumped, grabbed
    the wallet and tossed it to another carp. Then that carp passed it to
    another carp, and all over the river carp appeared and tossed the wallet back
    and forth.
    "Well, boys," said the Scout leader, "you've just seen a rare case
    of carp-to-carp walleting."

    ---------- Post added 3rd Feb 2014 at 01:59 AM ----------

    A crow perched himself on a telephone wire. He was going to make a
    long-distance caw.

    ---------- Post added 3rd Feb 2014 at 02:02 AM ----------

    A German, a Pole and a Czech left camp for a hike through the woods.
    After being reported missing a day or two later, rangers found two bears,
    one a male, one a female, looking suspiciously overstuffed. They killed
    the female, autopsied her, and sure enough, found the German and the Pole.
    "What do you think?" said the first ranger.
    "The Czech is in the male," replied the second.
     
  8. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    (This forum needs a "like" button :grin:)

    A newly wed couple buys a double-story house. When the doorbell rang, the husband went to see who it was. It was their new neighbour coming to welcome them to the neighbourhood. He asked if there are any other people living there, so he could welcome them too, and the husband replied: "Yes, my wife. She's upstairs"
     
  9. TheStudent

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    My boyfriend says I need to stop impersonating butter, but I'm on a roll now.
     
  10. Emulator

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    I lost an electron. I'm positive.
     
  11. BryanM

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    How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

    I told one the other day actually, but there was no reaction to it. How noble of them.
     
  12. Jinkies

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    Oxygen is with Potassium? OK.