The funny side of being transgendered: You know you're trans when.....

So I currently feel like a hostage penned in my room. If I leave the room it is likely I will get some form of verbal attack about my trans status. Things seem endlessly depressing so I thought for a bit of fun I'd set this off which is meant to provide a bit of light-hearted relief from the usual misery that is gender dysphoria.

So...to start off

You know you're trans when....


you look down when you're in the shower and for a split second you think that your cock has dropped off. :eek: Then you remember you never had one in the first place

 

(FtM)

You know you're trans because when God made you, you were so manly that He had to put you in the body of a chick, so that it'd be toned down to a level He could tolerate.

 

You know you're trans when you forget where you left your packer and you have to ask someone, "Hey, have you seen my dick?"

 

You get tangled in your binder and have to find someone to help you out or figure out how to get out of it yourself -_-

 

LOL! This! I love this!

 

You know you're trans (pre-hormones/surgery) when you look in the mirror and say, "Who the fuck is that?"

Ah, that reminds me of this one!

You know you're trans when you tell your friends to grab your packer while it's in your pants because "Dude, it feels just like the real thing."

 

Lol! These are awesome!

I'll try to think of one and post later (at the moment there aren't too many funny ones that come to my mind).

 

You know you are a trans woman when you spend a day agonizing about trying to figure out how to use cute nicknames correctly. You eventually give up in frustration, rationalizing that you are anyway much too sophisticated a lady to call someone cutesy pie. Naturally, a few days later you finally find the confidence to use such a nickname and you conveniently enough forget about being too sophisticated to do so! :eusa_ange

 

When someone taunts you with, "You don't have the balls!"

To which you respond, "Oh right... Must've left them at home!"

 

I like this one.:eusa_clap

 

When someone calls for you using your old name and your like who the f is that

 

When you start to enthuse about when you'll be able to grow facial hair, but then realize how weird that wound sound coming from a "girl."

I literally had to catch myself a millisecond before saying to my little bro, "I can't wait to grow sideburns!"

 

FTM

You know you're trans when you can honestly say you've tripped over your dick.

 

You know you're trans (guy) when your friend realizes you don't walk like a girl, but somehow walk like a penguin instead (even when you have nothing in your pants XD)

Um... Is that right? My friend said it to me a couple of years ago - now she says I walk like a soldier XD

 

You know how awesome it is to be trans when the Doctor Who references are never ending...

Transitioning = regenerating (same person, new body)

FTM
Enter the perfect explanation for your top surgery scars:
"Where did those scars come from?"
"Uhhh... Heart surgery."
"On both sides?"
"Timelord."

MTF
When people find out you're trans, you say with a wink...
"Well, not everyone can afford the upgrade."

Not to mention...
Timelords have the ability to change genders upon regenerating. It's totally acceptable and pretty badass. These are TV's first trans-people.

Doctor Who being awesome since 1963.

 

You know you're trans (ftm) when you try too hard to make your voice lower and everyone can tell so they imitate you all the time.