Amy and Brian's Orphanage for Gay Babies

Well, one time this girl was talking to me about having kids and a family. She turned to me and asked if I wanted to get married and have kids when I grew up. I must have waited to long to answer so she asked if I like guys instead. I didnt know how to answer that because I hadnt accepted myself yet so I just didnt say anything and my neighbor said of course he likes girls. The girl went on to say that it was ok if I liked guys because she likes girls and guys.

It made a really awkward silence at the time, but now that I think about it, I'm glad she said that. It was the first time someone had said liking guys was an option and that it was perfectly ok. It made me feel better about myself and I didnt even know it at first

I would like to adopt some kids, but when Im older. I dont think I would be able to live on campus at college next year if I had a kid.

 

If every awkward silence makes a gay baby, then I've made god knows how many

My favorite:
A boy was harassing me in class and it reached the point where the teacher screamed 'DAVID! TYLER! HALLWAY! NOW!'
So out in the hallway, that teacher (god bless her, she's honestly one of my favorites) starts tearing David down about how she asked for my oppionion and how he wasn't allowing me to express it. And then the inevitable set-up...

Teacher: David, why do you treat Tyler like this?
Him: (silence)
Me: He's never been nice to me and I don't know why... actually no, I do. It's because I'm gay and he's a homophobic prick! (I said this last part rather loud so that every classroom with an open door could hear it)
-awkward silence-
My friend Jasmine (from inside the classroom): HELL YEAH TYLER! YOU PLAYED THE GAY CARD!!!

Best day of my life. The best part was Jasmine yelling from the classroom... especially the part about the gay card.
She's a half-black bastard child and I'm gay with personality disorders, so we've been dealt some amazing hands in the poker game of life.
She and I love to use our cards =D

 

When I said "I Blame Martin" in front of my mom....

 

I have two stories, actually.

I was hanging out with about five members of the flag corps before a football game. Of course, they start talking about sex. Well, my mom had called me, when I was in there, but they were still talking about sex, seeing as they didn't know it was my mom I was talking to. So, I got done with my conversation with my mom and she says "I love you" and I say (very loudly) "I love you too...MOM!". The other girls just shut up and looked at me like 'oh shit'. Awkward silence.

The other story also happened with the flag corps. We were all hanging out in there and all of a sudden, the one girl goes "Isn't it true that gay babies are born during awkward silences?" *cue first awkward silence* then one of the other girls goes, "I was born during an awkward silence." *cue second awkward silence.*

 

Friend: Did you know that dreams have been shown to have supernatural meaning?
Me: Do you want to know about the recurring dream I've been having for a week now?
Friend: Oooh yes! I wonder what sort of meaning your dream has!
Me: Well, I keep dreaming that Sarah Palin sneaks into my room at night asking me to go hunting with her.
Friend: :eek:......................... Go see a psychiatrist.

Hooray, I made a gay baby

 

Lmao. I just thought of one.

I was talking to my friend about volleyball players...More specifically about their spandex shorty-shorts. I was curious to see if the volleyball players got to keep their spandex, I mean, 'cause they sweat in it and all of that nasty crap.

My friend says "I dunno, why don't you ask Rachel (the girl I like who plays on the team and wears the spandex)". I said, "Uhm, I'd rather not. It'd be really awkward."

So, we go back in the band room and the girl we were previously talking about was in there (not in spandex, though).
So, my friend goes "Hey, Rachel. Sarah wants to know if you guys (meaning the team) turned your spandex back in at the end of the season."

Rachel goes, "Uhm. No. We have to buy the spandex. It'd be gross if we'd have to turn it back in". I agree with her, feeling awkward already, of course.

Then she goes, "Yeah, especially since some of the girls don't wear underwear underneath. Of course, I wear underwear..I mean, that's just weird". *awkward silence so big you could drive a truck through it*

 

Ahahaha
I just remembered my best one...
It involves this guy who's basically family to me. I freakin' love Todd. He's amazing.

Me: So, Todd... I have something to tell you... I'm gay.
Todd: Okay man, cool...
(awkward silence)
Todd: So... uh... do you like it up the butt or putting it in someone else's butt?
(bigger awkward silence)
Me: Uh... option A
(biggest awkward silence)

 

^ Wow.

I finally remembered one.

It was 9th grade orientation into the high school. We went around the school going in our class schedules. So we reach PE, I'm happy to see 2 friends there, both guys. We instantly cling to each other. Unfortunately, So does the token gay guy (we'll call him Ron) of the school, as well as 2 of his friends, both girls. While going through the boys locker room, Ron says something that makes me and my friends stop in our tracks to respond.

When we're done talking, we go to catch up with the teacher, only to find he's locked the doors. Ron decides to take it upon himself to say something.

"OMG! This is how the breakfast club started!" Considering there was 2 girls, 4 guys, and only one was known to be gay, there was this HUGE awkward silence.

30 seconds later, we snap into it, and pound on the doors screaming LET US OUT!!!

 

Wait there was a gay guy in the breakfast club?

 

wow, thats great. it makes me laugh how some people just excel at making awkward situations even more awkward, haha.

 

There's this long running joke in my French class about two of my friends being secret lovers...

Well, we had a test today and since both of them didn't go to school yesterday, they had to go into the closet so they couldn't cheat on the test by knowing what the answers are.

We were halfway through the test, and my teacher walks to the other side of the room, opens up the door and says "Hey, you two, hands to yourself" *awkward silence numero un* Then, about five seconds later he goes, "Oh, and put your shirt back on!" *awkward silence numero deux*.

They're not really secret lovers, but, it's hilarious anyways.

 

Scott: "So I have this friend, her name's Rachel. She's really cool. We have so much in common. You would like her"
Me: *pause* "how much?"

*awkward silence*

*hillarious laughter*

 

wow, two awkward silences, does that mean twin gay babies?

 

Yeah....Whenever I have an 'awkward silence moment', there's always at least two. So, I make gay twin babies all the time..

 

Hmmm, then how are one gay baby and one straight baby made. Haha, I can’t believe I’m making people in the fun and games thread think. I guess that’s what happens when you stay up until 5am.

 

Last year in my dorm room (I had an open door policy and usually closed my door when my "brother" (he feels like he is my brother, we are so close everyone thinks we would make a cute couple or are dating but he is nonsexual and like my brother so we would never date) came over because we would talk about anything and everything, but this time I forgot):

us: talking about swimsuit styles (we both swam in high school) and why boys have more swimsuit styles than girls.
him: because they don't have breasts
*awkward silence as I go close the door and hope that my wing doesn't think that one or both of us are insane*

last spring with my "brother" in the dinning hall:
cute transgirl that I have a crush on walks in.
she sits down near us.
I start staring at her and have butterflies.
me: she is cute
him: you like her, don't deny it.
*awkward silence*
me: but I'm straight
him: no your not
*awkward silence #2*
(now I still have a crush on the same transgirl, I have had a crush on her for over a year and my "brother" told me that I had a crush on her in March, since then I have also had crushes on gay guys and straight girls)

in my kitchen at home over spring break, with my mum, my dad, my two sisters, and my "brother" in the room:
me to my "brother": I think I am going to tell them about *insert name of transgirl*
one of my sisters: secrets don't make friends
me: I have a crush on *insert name of transgirl* who is male to female trans, I don't know what I am but I know I am not straight.
*awkward silence*
one of my sisters: don't you like *insert name of gay guy I have a crush on*
me: I like two people
*awkward silence*
my mum: we should talk about this later.
*awkward silence*