I'm not sure if this exists already, but let's make a thread where we post the most amazing stupid jokes ever. I'll start: What do you call a reclusive gang member? A stay-at-home homie. :eusa_danc
(Are we just going with "what do you call" jokes? How about some bar jokes. ) So two strings walk into a bar. One of them goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve your kind here." The string then sulks outside. Their friend, however, starts writhing on the floor, twisting themselves up and ruffling the edges. After some concerned looks from the other patrons, they get up and walk over to the bartender. "Didn't you hear what I said to your buddy?" "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
One day they had an issue at the Tickle Me Elmo plant, and production was halted. Some Elmos were sent to the manager right away. A few minutes later he came down to the line where he found the new employee. The employee asked why production had stopped, and the manager held up an Elmo doll and said we can't sell these. The employee replied " well you told me to give it two test tickles "
This is actually a pretty badass joke (to me) but I wanted a reason to share it so HA! What's the Wii Fit Trainer's favorite type of yoga? Yoganadie. Hyaaah! I love WFT.
I love being able to show off my sad dad jokes wooopie! A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
That's not even bad. I have heard some awful dad jokes! I am not funny, so here's one from the internet. A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I'll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you." "Sure thing," The bartender replies, "But what's with the big pause?" The panda holds up his hands and says "I was born with them." I mean, the worst jokes are these ones these guys in my class are always telling. They are like catchphrases, but awful. Things like, "I hope you like butter, because here comes the toast." They don't even make sense!
I remember hearing this one on my school bus :lol: ... What's the World's fastest drink? Too which you reply: What? Milk. Wanna know why? 'Cause it's past-your-eyes before you know it! :lol: Get it? Pasteurized/past-your-eyes :lol:
This is an old one my dad told me when I was like 8. Oddly enough, my queerplatonic best friend is also blonde. We both agree that it sums her up perfectly. --- So a blind man walks into a bar, goes up to the counter, sits down and orders a drink. As he's finishing his drink, he gestures towards the bartender and asks, "Didja hear da one about a blonde who walks into a bar?" The bartender looks annoyed for a second, but then she calmly says, "Sir, before you finish that joke, I'd like to warn you; There's a blonde sitting right over at that table. I'll have you know, she is a black belt in karate. There's also another blonde sitting at that table over there - she's a police officer. I myself am also a blonde, and can beat all of these patrons in an arm wrestling match, let alone throw a rude, old blind man out of my establishment. Now, do you REALLY want to finish that joke?" The blind man faces her for a few seconds before responding: "Not if I have to repeat it 3 times!" --- Yeah, even though I don't really like blonde jokes, that one was kind of clever in my opinion, just thought I'd share it.
