Come post your poetry here, writers! All sorts of poetry welcome! This is a place to display your works of poetry and get your creative minds going! If you'd like an editorial critique, you can post looking for that too. Make sure that your work cannot be linked to other sites, however. Also, if you want to, you can use spoiler buttons. Click the button to see how. Spoiler [spoilor] Blahblahblah [/spoilor] (spelling "spoiler" right though) A few more things while we're at it. Be polite, respectful, no bashing, pg 13, constructive criticism only, and have fun!
Uhhh... Okaaay... Here's the first one then? Spoiler The Spider’s Friend When I was a wee little thing, I made a friend called John. I knew that we could not be friends, and yet, I did hold on. John was not like me, and he could not understand, the way of life and it’s workings, My mind and its demands. When I was older and stronger, I broke my friend John’s wings. I’m sorry that you trusted me, this is the way of living things.
In my Creative Writing class, we had to write a piece of spoken word poetry and present it to the class. I guess it was sort of my 'coming out' piece, but most people didn't really question it too much so I'm still not exactly out. It's a little long and it doesn't rhyme, but he told us not to make it rhyme, and besides, I like it like this. Please don't judge, I'm really self-conscious about my poetry. Helpful criticism is appreciated, though. Thank you. Spoiler I wake up every morning And do my daily routine: Brush my teeth Get dressed Grab my backpack And I glance in the mirror to make sure I look presentable And I can see my breasts through my uniform shirt And I think “That’s wrong I shouldn’t have breasts Maybe I should wear my sports bra” So I change And look again But they are still visible Because, after all, it’s only a sports bra And my mom won’t let me get a binder. At school I am writing down the writing prompt on the board And I turn my head A girl is sitting there In her chair, writing She is so cute So pretty But a guy is sitting next to her Writing as well A hot guy And he’s very handsome But I wouldn’t date either of them I’d date the person who I have known for years The person who has always been there for me Through thick and thin I go online and sign up for a website And they ask for my gender I click the drop down menu And the choices are Girl Or Boy But I don’t feel like either I’m tempted to put girl Because that’s what everyone calls me She But I don’t feel like a girl And I don’t feel like a boy either So I sit there Thinking And eventually I put girl Because that’s what everyone else sees me as I’m at a sleepover All the girls are painting their nails And gossiping And I’m reading my book Ignoring everyone else One girl mentions boys And suddenly everyone is confessing their biggest crushes When they all turn to me I say “I don’t have any crushes” Because it was true at the time There’s no one I liked They all beg me to tell them But I truly have nothing to say I’m signing up for an LGBT friendly forums website And they ask for my gender I click the drop down menu And there are options Many options Under the drop down menu There is a text box For any gender not in the menu I type in questioning and move on They also ask my orientation The drop down menu has options And there is also a text box I type in questioning again And I click sign up For a few weeks We are taking a Sex Ed class Because we are eighth graders now And apparently need to know these things Everyone snickers every time the teacher says something And I don’t get it It’s not really that funny When a woman walks into Biology And talks to us about safe sex I can tell half the class isn’t paying attention And the other half doesn’t seem to care much The woman is asking us about different sexualities we’ve heard of She writes down Heterosexuality Homosexuality And Bisexuality That’s it I remember being confused Because I know I’m not any of those But I thought that’s all you could be Now I know about the ‘ignored sexualities’ Pansexuality Asexuality Polysexuality And others And I know about romantic orientation And gender identities But despite all this knowledge I still look in the mirror And wonder Who am I?
I mean, YinYang, this is lovely. And not just because I can relate, but because... It's so... Real, and simplistic, in the way that it's easily understood. I really really like that. It's like a story, almost, but it's poetic, because of the phrasing of things, and because the mind and heart are a bit poetic in general. Can I reiterate? It's brilliant. And I'm not just saying that. Actually, if you want helpful criticism, one thing. "I’d date the person who I have known for years" This sentence reads slightly awkwardly in my opinion. Could be just me reading it. Maybe exchange the "who" for a "that"? Honestly though that's the only thing I'm finding. And you don't even really have to change it, it's not too important. I don't think it really needs to change if you don't want to. The whole thing is wow. Keep it up, seriously.
I read this as party thread, "but while I am here I may as well write some poetry The laying of the egg Swaying through the fear Another entangled leg Through the night I do not bear Lonely and hopeless the next day Waiting for someone to lay next to me I lay in the hay Ask when is the date going to be. (end poem), a short piece.
:icon_redf Thank you. This was actually pretty much the one poem that I wrote that I was proud of. It means a lot to me that you like it. Yeah, the wording there is a little awkward, but I kind of like it like that. Besides, it sounds better when I read it out loud. I would post a video of me preforming it, but... meh. Shyness. That, and I don't think we can post videos on EC. Thank you for the tip, though.
A dip, a skip, Into my subconscious pool Of dreams, of gleams, Of the future ahoy Anyhoo This story's approaching its date of expire For this last ounce of strength is only for hire For here is the night, and time to hit the lights By the way, this was about sleep I do beg you goodnight Sketchy, lol
Haha, that took me a second time reading to get it, but now I really like it! It sounds like someone who's just woken up and/or is on the verge of sleep— Like that half-asleep dream state, you know? It's really pretty cool. I can't really tell if someone's going to sleep or waking up, but I'm taking a bet on both; if they woke up ten minutes after falling asleep or something. Happens more often than you'd think. So tell me, what is it about? I'm just guessing.
Gray- Excellent. My life right there. Justinian- Cool. I don't really get it, but cool. Vid- Interesting. I'm too lazy to write and it'd just be really depressing anyway.
Spoiler Here lies a jar of jam. A jar nobody else can open. But you. They can open marmalade jars, Pickle jars, gherkin jars. But nobody can open that jam jar But you. You cracked it open a little, gave them a little taste Sealed the vault door closed again. They share their marmalade and gherkins and pickles Every single day with all those who stop to listen. But you don't dare open your jam jar until you're asked And asked again. Again. Again. Again. A softly murmured answer, too quiet to be made out. The flavour of your jam changes slowly throughout time But people think it still tastes the same as it did five years ago Strawberry. But it's hovering near blueberry now, and you're too scared To open that lid again Showing them the taste Fear of their unmet expectations Creating revulsion and hate Because you had once been 'normal' A mere jam jar. You hide your jam away from the world Because you think nobody wants blueberry jam That used to be strawberry jam But it can change the world Because you're unique. Here lies a jar of jam. It represents your thoughts and mind. Hmm, I didn't really have a poem on hand so I just kind of made one now, but idk how it turned out lol XD ^^; it really needs refinement XP
