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WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary.

Discussion in 'Fun and Games' started by pirateninja, Jul 6, 2010.

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  1. pirateninja

    pirateninja
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    The Pirateninja taps the microphone in front of her, absently gazing at the assembled crowd in front of her. Coughing a little bit to clear her throat, she begins an impassioned speech.

    "My friends! I mean to sail away to make my fortune as a totally awesome Pirate of the seas. By which, I mean treasure, and plenty of it. And wenches, where I can get them. And grog and wine, which are a definite. And I mean to sail away tonight, on my ship, The Wanderer's Compass, which I recently stole... borrowed... acquired."

    She gestures to a ship bobbing in the dock. It looks a little worse for wear, a definite cannonball hole in one side, and a lopsided mast precariously waving what looks like a hastily painted pirate flag.

    "However, I cannot do it alone! I need myself a motley, swashbuckling crew to help me fully explore the many seas of Empty Closets, from the rapids of Anonymousland, to the waterfalls at the Edge of Chitchat. I need men and women of all skills, who are motley and swashbuckling, who want to make their fortune, who do not balk at sea travel, who can sing pirate shantys, who do not fear the perilous dangers that await..."

    A mouse runs in front of the Pirateninja, who shrieks in a very high pitched manner.

    "As I was saying... I wish to discover the greatest treasure of all; the lair of the Secrets of the Almighty Clitoris. Those who wish to join me, to become rich, powerful, and able to please a woman beyond her wildest dreams, say aye! For we sail tonight!"

    Holly the Pirateninja looks across those who have come, hoping to learn more about them before the journey's beginning.
     
    #1 pirateninja, Jul 6, 2010
  2. Chandra

    Chandra
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    I totally belong on this ship, and I'll tell you why.

    1) My dad's nickname for me since I was a teenager has been the Swashbuckling Princess. No, really. (Er, I don't think this is quite what he had in mind... but still.)

    2) I just finished setting up a treasure hunt around my house for my girlfriend to find when she gets back from Montreal, while I'm still away in Iceland! :icon_bigg
     
    #2 Chandra, Jul 6, 2010
  3. pirateninja

    pirateninja
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    The Pirateninja surveys the first applicant, before waving her on board.

    "Arrrr, welcome to the Crew of the Wanderer's Compass! I hope your treasure hunting skills will come in useful, Swashbuckling Princess! Swash your buckles and man the mainsail! Yarrr!"

    Holly gazes over the rest of those in the group with her one eye, the other, albeit perfectly good, covered by an eyepatch.
     
    #3 pirateninja, Jul 6, 2010
  4. Owen

    Owen
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    Ah, so you keep one eye covered with an eyepatch even though it's perfectly good. Preparing for an impromptu fight in the dark, are we?

    While I couldn't care less about being able to please a woman beyond her wildest dreams, riches and power are a very lucrative promise. You should bring me along because I can use my skills as a drummer to help the on-board band keep the crew entertained, and if we happen to need to get a foreign monarch on our good side, well, someone's going to need to be able to seduce him.
     
    #4 Owen, Jul 6, 2010
  5. jazzrawr

    jazzrawr
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    Jazz wishes to embark on this journey of epic proportions!
    The treasure, wine and wenches are much to my liking ;D
    I humbly request permission to be Captain Pirateninja's right hand Pirate. You can call me Jazz-arrr :grin:
    My skills in all things pirate-ey and all things gay will come in handy, you may find. ^_^
     
    #5 jazzrawr, Jul 6, 2010
  6. Katherine

    Katherine
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    I want to be part of this crew!

    Because...um.... I'm awesome?

    :grin:
     
    #6 Katherine, Jul 6, 2010
  7. Maddy

    Maddy
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    This had to happen two days after I change my profile picture from one of me in full pirate costume to one of me pointing at the sky going :confused:. But yes, I request a place on this ship, based on my ability to pull together a pirate costume from things I have around my home, the fact that I have a dodgy eye so an eyepatch wouldn't hold me back much, the volume at which I can shout, and my liking for wenches.
     
    #7 Maddy, Jul 6, 2010
  8. pirateninja

    pirateninja
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    The Pirateninja is startled at the sudden surge of applicants, before suddenly grinning in a very Pirate-y manner (it's possible).

    "Yarr, Mr Gamer Am I, as you know, pirates LOVE music; we sing and dance on the sun-bleached shores of Fun and Games, and we plan to do the same right to the mountains of Icicle climb in the Arcade. As for the idea of seducing men... for gain! It's... inspired! Welcome aboard, sailor!

    "Jazz-Arrr, eh? My right hand pirate, eh? Treasure, wine, and wenches to your liking, eh? Skills in all things gay and pirate-y, eh? YOU'RE HIRED! Welcome aboard, First Mate Jazz-Arrr!

    "Awesome? You're HIRED!"

    "And Maddy, I had seen the picture of your pirate costume; it was.... beautiful.... Welcome aboard, sailor!"
     
    #8 pirateninja, Jul 7, 2010
  9. Ben

    Ben
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    I need t' be let on yer crew! Me booty be the greatest tool for pleasing both men and lasses already. In fact, me booty be so pleasing that it be rated AAARRRRRRR.
    An' I be literate! Arrrrr… learning the alphabet be tough on account o' in my youth I spent so many years at C, but I conquered it and now I be the most literate buccaneer in AAARRRRRRRRRR world.
    An' I be a great thinker! In the words o' DescARRRRRRtes, I be thinkin' therefore I ARRRRRRRR.
     
    #9 Ben, Jul 7, 2010
  10. Tim

    Tim
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    Walks away from his sister, unfortunately, I have no interest in locatin' th' secret 'o th' Clitoris, nor do I be needin' to be knowin' how to please a woman. So ye shall have to leave without me. :3
     
    #10 Tim, Jul 7, 2010
  11. Ben

    Ben
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    Yarrrr I kidnapped th' rebel Tim's booty and he be cometh where-erst I cometh.
     
    #11 Ben, Jul 7, 2010
  12. Eponine

    Eponine
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    :O Can I be a wench?
     
    #12 Eponine, Jul 7, 2010
  13. pirateninja

    pirateninja
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    The "Chariots of Fire" theme plays loudly, as the Pirateninja races towards Tim in slow motion. She takes a flying leap and grabs onto his leg.

    "Nooooooooooo, Tim! Don't be a Landlubber! Sure, maybe you don't want The Almighty Clitoris' secrets, but what about booty? What about treasure? What about Kraft Dinnah? What about all the men that I won't want?"

    Realising that she is making a scene, the Pirateninja gets up and brushes off the dirt on her coat.

    "What I mean is... if you change your mind, come sail with me, guy."

    ----------

    Yarrr, Victor the Wench, and Benji the Buccaneer, I did not see ye tharrrr. :slight_smile: I would be honoured to have you on my ship!
     
    #13 pirateninja, Jul 7, 2010
  14. Owen

    Owen
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    It has certainly served me well in my times exploring the world. Perhaps I could regale your crew with tellings of just how useful the art of seduction can be.

    Excellent! I was a bit concerned that I would be an island of testosterone in a sea of estrogen, but thankfully, this shall not pass.
     
    #14 Owen, Jul 7, 2010
  15. Chandra

    Chandra
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    I will be sailing my own ship over to Iceland for the next three-and-twenty days, so I will have to rejoin ye when I return, with news of the bounty to be found in the frozen North! Save me some of that Kraft Dinnah.

    *waves a princessely kerchief and swashbuckles off into the sunset*
     
    #15 Chandra, Jul 7, 2010
  16. SilhouetteDream

    SilhouetteDream
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    Yarrr! I would be most certainly honored to be apart of this ever so pirately Motely Swashbuckling Pirate Crew if you would have me!
    Aaargh would the island of lesbos be included in this sea voyaging journey? :grin:
     
    #16 SilhouetteDream, Jul 7, 2010
  17. jazzrawr

    jazzrawr
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    Hoorah and huzzah! ;D
    I'm liking the shape of this crew, Cap'n Pirateninja!
     
    #17 jazzrawr, Jul 7, 2010
  18. Lucky Panda

    Lucky Panda
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    >_> If you ask me, every Pirate Crew needs a fine chef...

    That is my application. XD
     
    #18 Lucky Panda, Jul 7, 2010
  19. Zumbro

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    Zumbro runs screaming up to the docks
    "Wait! Wait for me! Don't leave yet! I may not be looking for the secrets of the clitoris, but surely there's something on this journey for me! I can navigate right good, I tell ya!"
     
    #19 Zumbro, Jul 7, 2010
  20. Meropspusillus

    Meropspusillus
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    Oooh! Me too! I'll be the wench that is always drunk!
     
    #20 Meropspusillus, Jul 7, 2010
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