WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

pirateninja · 6th Jul 2010, 02:04 PM

The Pirateninja taps the microphone in front of her, absently gazing at the assembled crowd in front of her. Coughing a little bit to clear her throat, she begins an impassioned speech.

"My friends! I mean to sail away to make my fortune as a totally awesome Pirate of the seas. By which, I mean treasure, and plenty of it. And wenches, where I can get them. And grog and wine, which are a definite. And I mean to sail away tonight, on my ship, The Wanderer's Compass, which I recently stole... borrowed... acquired."

She gestures to a ship bobbing in the dock. It looks a little worse for wear, a definite cannonball hole in one side, and a lopsided mast precariously waving what looks like a hastily painted pirate flag.

"However, I cannot do it alone! I need myself a motley, swashbuckling crew to help me fully explore the many seas of Empty Closets, from the rapids of Anonymousland, to the waterfalls at the Edge of Chitchat. I need men and women of all skills, who are motley and swashbuckling, who want to make their fortune, who do not balk at sea travel, who can sing pirate shantys, who do not fear the perilous dangers that await..."

A mouse runs in front of the Pirateninja, who shrieks in a very high pitched manner.

"As I was saying... I wish to discover the greatest treasure of all; the lair of the Secrets of the Almighty Clitoris. Those who wish to join me, to become rich, powerful, and able to please a woman beyond her wildest dreams, say aye! For we sail tonight!"

Holly the Pirateninja looks across those who have come, hoping to learn more about them before the journey's beginning.

**Chandra** · 6th Jul 2010, 03:11 PM

I totally belong on this ship, and I'll tell you why.

1) My dad's nickname for me since I was a teenager has been the Swashbuckling Princess. No, really. (Er, I don't think this is quite what he had in mind... but still.)

2) I just finished setting up a treasure hunt around my house for my girlfriend to find when she gets back from Montreal, while I'm still away in Iceland!

pirateninja · 6th Jul 2010, 03:29 PM

The Pirateninja surveys the first applicant, before waving her on board.

"Arrrr, welcome to the Crew of the Wanderer's Compass! I hope your treasure hunting skills will come in useful, Swashbuckling Princess! Swash your buckles and man the mainsail! Yarrr!"

Holly gazes over the rest of those in the group with her one eye, the other, albeit perfectly good, covered by an eyepatch.

**Owen** · 6th Jul 2010, 05:37 PM

Ah, so you keep one eye covered with an eyepatch even though it's perfectly good. Preparing for an impromptu fight in the dark, are we?

While I couldn't care less about being able to please a woman beyond her wildest dreams, riches and power are a very lucrative promise. You should bring me along because I can use my skills as a drummer to help the on-board band keep the crew entertained, and if we happen to need to get a foreign monarch on our good side, well, someone's going to need to be able to seduce him.

jazzrawr · 6th Jul 2010, 06:46 PM

Jazz wishes to embark on this journey of epic proportions!
The treasure, wine and wenches are much to my liking ;D
I humbly request permission to be Captain Pirateninja's right hand Pirate. You can call me Jazz-arrr

My skills in all things pirate-ey and all things gay will come in handy, you may find. ^_^

Katherine · 6th Jul 2010, 06:53 PM

I want to be part of this crew!

Because...um.... I'm awesome?

**Maddy** · 6th Jul 2010, 07:11 PM

This had to happen two days after I change my profile picture from one of me in full pirate costume to one of me pointing at the sky going o_O. But yes, I request a place on this ship, based on my ability to pull together a pirate costume from things I have around my home, the fact that I have a dodgy eye so an eyepatch wouldn't hold me back much, the volume at which I can shout, and my liking for wenches.

pirateninja · 7th Jul 2010, 12:10 AM

The Pirateninja is startled at the sudden surge of applicants, before suddenly grinning in a very Pirate-y manner (it's possible).

"Yarr, Mr Gamer Am I, as you know, pirates LOVE music; we sing and dance on the sun-bleached shores of Fun and Games, and we plan to do the same right to the mountains of Icicle climb in the Arcade. As for the idea of seducing men... for gain! It's... inspired! Welcome aboard, sailor!

"Jazz-Arrr, eh? My right hand pirate, eh? Treasure, wine, and wenches to your liking, eh? Skills in all things gay and pirate-y, eh? YOU'RE HIRED! Welcome aboard, First Mate Jazz-Arrr!

"Awesome? You're HIRED!"

"And Maddy, I had seen the picture of your pirate costume; it was.... beautiful.... Welcome aboard, sailor!"

**Ben** · 7th Jul 2010, 12:37 AM

I need t' be let on yer crew! Me booty be the greatest tool for pleasing both men and lasses already. In fact, me booty be so pleasing that it be rated AAARRRRRRR.
An' I be literate! Arrrrr… learning the alphabet be tough on account o' in my youth I spent so many years at C, but I conquered it and now I be the most literate buccaneer in AAARRRRRRRRRR world.
An' I be a great thinker! In the words o' DescARRRRRRtes, I be thinkin' therefore I ARRRRRRRR.

Tim · 7th Jul 2010, 01:10 AM

Walks away from his sister, unfortunately, I have no interest in locatin' th' secret 'o th' Clitoris, nor do I be needin' to be knowin' how to please a woman. So ye shall have to leave without me. :3

**Ben** · 7th Jul 2010, 01:14 AM

Yarrrr I kidnapped th' rebel Tim's booty and he be cometh where-erst I cometh.

**Victor** · 7th Jul 2010, 01:36 AM

:O Can I be a wench?

pirateninja · 7th Jul 2010, 01:43 AM

The "Chariots of Fire" theme plays loudly, as the Pirateninja races towards Tim in slow motion. She takes a flying leap and grabs onto his leg.

"Nooooooooooo, Tim! Don't be a Landlubber! Sure, maybe you don't want The Almighty Clitoris' secrets, but what about booty? What about treasure? What about Kraft Dinnah? What about all the men that I won't want?"

Realising that she is making a scene, the Pirateninja gets up and brushes off the dirt on her coat.

"What I mean is... if you change your mind, come sail with me, guy."

----------

Yarrr, Victor the Wench, and Benji the Buccaneer, I did not see ye tharrrr.

I would be honoured to have you on my ship!

**Owen** · 7th Jul 2010, 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pirateninja

As for the idea of seducing men... for gain! It's... inspired! Welcome aboard, sailor!

It has certainly served me well in my times exploring the world. Perhaps I could regale your crew with tellings of just how useful the art of seduction can be.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pirateninja

Yarrr, Victor the Wench, and Benji the Buccaneer, I did not see ye tharrrr.

I would be honoured to have you on my ship!

Excellent! I was a bit concerned that I would be an island of testosterone in a sea of estrogen, but thankfully, this shall not pass.

**Chandra** · 7th Jul 2010, 08:59 AM

I will be sailing my own ship over to Iceland for the next three-and-twenty days, so I will have to rejoin ye when I return, with news of the bounty to be found in the frozen North! Save me some of that Kraft Dinnah.

*waves a princessely kerchief and swashbuckles off into the sunset*

SilhouetteDream · 7th Jul 2010, 02:39 PM

Yarrr! I would be most certainly honored to be apart of this ever so pirately Motely Swashbuckling Pirate Crew if you would have me!
Aaargh would the island of lesbos be included in this sea voyaging journey?

jazzrawr · 7th Jul 2010, 02:44 PM

Hoorah and huzzah! ;D
I'm liking the shape of this crew, Cap'n Pirateninja!

Lucky Panda · 7th Jul 2010, 03:02 PM

>_> If you ask me, every Pirate Crew needs a fine chef...

That is my application. XD

Zumbro · 7th Jul 2010, 05:36 PM

Zumbro runs screaming up to the docks
"Wait! Wait for me! Don't leave yet! I may not be looking for the secrets of the clitoris, but surely there's something on this journey for me! I can navigate right good, I tell ya!"

**Meropspusillus** · 7th Jul 2010, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victor

:O Can I be a wench?

Oooh! Me too! I'll be the wench that is always drunk!

6th Jul 2010, 02:04 PM	#1
pirateninja EC's Sailor Uranus Full Member Gender: Biologically Female Orientation: Heterosexually Challenged Out Status: Most people Location: Bath, England Age: 21 Posts: 5,853 Join Date: Sep 2007	WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. The Pirateninja taps the microphone in front of her, absently gazing at the assembled crowd in front of her. Coughing a little bit to clear her throat, she begins an impassioned speech. "My friends! I mean to sail away to make my fortune as a totally awesome Pirate of the seas. By which, I mean treasure, and plenty of it. And wenches, where I can get them. And grog and wine, which are a definite. And I mean to sail away tonight, on my ship, The Wanderer's Compass, which I recently stole... borrowed... acquired." She gestures to a ship bobbing in the dock. It looks a little worse for wear, a definite cannonball hole in one side, and a lopsided mast precariously waving what looks like a hastily painted pirate flag. "However, I cannot do it alone! I need myself a motley, swashbuckling crew to help me fully explore the many seas of Empty Closets, from the rapids of Anonymousland, to the waterfalls at the Edge of Chitchat. I need men and women of all skills, who are motley and swashbuckling, who want to make their fortune, who do not balk at sea travel, who can sing pirate shantys, who do not fear the perilous dangers that await..." A mouse runs in front of the Pirateninja, who shrieks in a very high pitched manner. "As I was saying... I wish to discover the greatest treasure of all; the lair of the Secrets of the Almighty Clitoris. Those who wish to join me, to become rich, powerful, and able to please a woman beyond her wildest dreams, say aye! For we sail tonight!" Holly the Pirateninja looks across those who have come, hoping to learn more about them before the journey's beginning. __________________ Holly the Pirateninja Ars Longa, Vita Brevis.

6th Jul 2010, 03:11 PM	#2
Chandra Empty Closets Advisor EC Advisor Gender: Female Orientation: somewhere over the rainbow Out Status: Out to most people Posts: 782 Join Date: Jan 2010	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. I totally belong on this ship, and I'll tell you why. 1) My dad's nickname for me since I was a teenager has been the Swashbuckling Princess. No, really. (Er, I don't think this is quite what he had in mind... but still.) 2) I just finished setting up a treasure hunt around my house for my girlfriend to find when she gets back from Montreal, while I'm still away in Iceland!

6th Jul 2010, 03:29 PM	#3
pirateninja EC's Sailor Uranus Full Member Gender: Biologically Female Orientation: Heterosexually Challenged Out Status: Most people Location: Bath, England Age: 21 Posts: 5,853 Join Date: Sep 2007	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. The Pirateninja surveys the first applicant, before waving her on board. "Arrrr, welcome to the Crew of the Wanderer's Compass! I hope your treasure hunting skills will come in useful, Swashbuckling Princess! Swash your buckles and man the mainsail! Yarrr!" Holly gazes over the rest of those in the group with her one eye, the other, albeit perfectly good, covered by an eyepatch. __________________ Holly the Pirateninja Ars Longa, Vita Brevis.

6th Jul 2010, 05:37 PM	#4
Owen Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult EC Admin Gender: Agendered dude Orientation: Panromantic androsexual Out Status: Everyone and their mother Location: Massachusetts, USA Age: 21 Posts: 2,873 Join Date: Jul 2007	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. Ah, so you keep one eye covered with an eyepatch even though it's perfectly good. Preparing for an impromptu fight in the dark, are we? While I couldn't care less about being able to please a woman beyond her wildest dreams, riches and power are a very lucrative promise. You should bring me along because I can use my skills as a drummer to help the on-board band keep the crew entertained, and if we happen to need to get a foreign monarch on our good side, well, someone's going to need to be able to seduce him. __________________ "Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing. And there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza." -Daria Morgendorffer

6th Jul 2010, 06:46 PM	#5
jazzrawr Lover of Loony Lovegood Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesimbean Out Status: I scream it from rooftops Location: Ontario, Canada. Age: 19 Posts: 3,391 Join Date: Feb 2008	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. Jazz wishes to embark on this journey of epic proportions! The treasure, wine and wenches are much to my liking ;D I humbly request permission to be Captain Pirateninja's right hand Pirate. You can call me Jazz-arrr My skills in all things pirate-ey and all things gay will come in handy, you may find. ^_^ __________________ <3 You can love people so much... But you can never love someone as much as you can miss them. (...and the lesbians.)

6th Jul 2010, 06:53 PM	#6
Katherine Professional Cuddler Full Member Gender: 75% female Orientation: 110% gay Out Status: 98% out Location: The land of rednecks and pine trees (Georgia) Age: 19 Posts: 1,745 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. I want to be part of this crew! Because...um.... I'm awesome? __________________ Overly emotional five-foot-tall vegetarian gamer girl who procrastinates way too much. Loves food, art, cats, and making people smile.

6th Jul 2010, 07:11 PM	#7
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,705 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. This had to happen two days after I change my profile picture from one of me in full pirate costume to one of me pointing at the sky going o_O. But yes, I request a place on this ship, based on my ability to pull together a pirate costume from things I have around my home, the fact that I have a dodgy eye so an eyepatch wouldn't hold me back much, the volume at which I can shout, and my liking for wenches. __________________ how strange it is to be anything at all [Victor] 2:09 pm: and then halloween happened and I was outside in a skirt.

7th Jul 2010, 12:10 AM	#8
pirateninja EC's Sailor Uranus Full Member Gender: Biologically Female Orientation: Heterosexually Challenged Out Status: Most people Location: Bath, England Age: 21 Posts: 5,853 Join Date: Sep 2007	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. The Pirateninja is startled at the sudden surge of applicants, before suddenly grinning in a very Pirate-y manner (it's possible). "Yarr, Mr Gamer Am I, as you know, pirates LOVE music; we sing and dance on the sun-bleached shores of Fun and Games, and we plan to do the same right to the mountains of Icicle climb in the Arcade. As for the idea of seducing men... for gain! It's... inspired! Welcome aboard, sailor! "Jazz-Arrr, eh? My right hand pirate, eh? Treasure, wine, and wenches to your liking, eh? Skills in all things gay and pirate-y, eh? YOU'RE HIRED! Welcome aboard, First Mate Jazz-Arrr! "Awesome? You're HIRED!" "And Maddy, I had seen the picture of your pirate costume; it was.... beautiful.... Welcome aboard, sailor!" __________________ Holly the Pirateninja Ars Longa, Vita Brevis.

7th Jul 2010, 12:37 AM	#9
Ben Was Invisible. EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Age: 20 Posts: 3,705 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. I need t' be let on yer crew! Me booty be the greatest tool for pleasing both men and lasses already. In fact, me booty be so pleasing that it be rated AAARRRRRRR. An' I be literate! Arrrrr… learning the alphabet be tough on account o' in my youth I spent so many years at C, but I conquered it and now I be the most literate buccaneer in AAARRRRRRRRRR world. An' I be a great thinker! In the words o' DescARRRRRRtes, I be thinkin' therefore I ARRRRRRRR.

7th Jul 2010, 01:10 AM	#10
Tim Psycho Glitter Btch Full Member Gender:* Guy, Unless Life Was a Horrible April Fools Joke. Orientation: Gay/Asexual/Confusing to Explain Out Status: Armed and Fabulous! XD Location: California Age: 23 Posts: 7,381 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. Walks away from his sister, unfortunately, I have no interest in locatin' th' secret 'o th' Clitoris, nor do I be needin' to be knowin' how to please a woman. So ye shall have to leave without me. :3 __________________ Rawr! :3 ~The Stalker User Known As Tim~ Rawr! :3 EC's Sailor Star Healer, Oxymoron and All. Star Sensitive Inferno! Sailor Starlight, Stage On! [Vic] 7:49 pm: I keep my pants off in public.

7th Jul 2010, 01:14 AM	#11
Ben Was Invisible. EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Age: 20 Posts: 3,705 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. Yarrrr I kidnapped th' rebel Tim's booty and he be cometh where-erst I cometh.

7th Jul 2010, 01:36 AM	#12
Victor Moo EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Pretty damn out Location: California Age: 21 Posts: 1,972 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. :O Can I be a wench? __________________

7th Jul 2010, 01:43 AM	#13
pirateninja EC's Sailor Uranus Full Member Gender: Biologically Female Orientation: Heterosexually Challenged Out Status: Most people Location: Bath, England Age: 21 Posts: 5,853 Join Date: Sep 2007	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. The "Chariots of Fire" theme plays loudly, as the Pirateninja races towards Tim in slow motion. She takes a flying leap and grabs onto his leg. "Nooooooooooo, Tim! Don't be a Landlubber! Sure, maybe you don't want The Almighty Clitoris' secrets, but what about booty? What about treasure? What about Kraft Dinnah? What about all the men that I won't want?" Realising that she is making a scene, the Pirateninja gets up and brushes off the dirt on her coat. "What I mean is... if you change your mind, come sail with me, guy." ---------- Yarrr, Victor the Wench, and Benji the Buccaneer, I did not see ye tharrrr. I would be honoured to have you on my ship! __________________ Holly the Pirateninja Ars Longa, Vita Brevis.

7th Jul 2010, 08:59 AM	#15
Chandra Empty Closets Advisor EC Advisor Gender: Female Orientation: somewhere over the rainbow Out Status: Out to most people Posts: 782 Join Date: Jan 2010	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. I will be sailing my own ship over to Iceland for the next three-and-twenty days, so I will have to rejoin ye when I return, with news of the bounty to be found in the frozen North! Save me some of that Kraft Dinnah. waves a princessely kerchief and swashbuckles off into the sunset

7th Jul 2010, 02:39 PM	#16
SilhouetteDream OHAI! :D Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Happy homo :D Out Status: Family only Location: Long Island, NY Age: 19 Posts: 630 Join Date: Aug 2009	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. Yarrr! I would be most certainly honored to be apart of this ever so pirately Motely Swashbuckling Pirate Crew if you would have me! Aaargh would the island of lesbos be included in this sea voyaging journey? __________________ I can sit here waiting for hours on your arrival I could sit here for days waiting for you to come out and play Because I live to breathe the sky that hangs high above you.

7th Jul 2010, 02:44 PM	#17
jazzrawr Lover of Loony Lovegood Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesimbean Out Status: I scream it from rooftops Location: Ontario, Canada. Age: 19 Posts: 3,391 Join Date: Feb 2008	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. Hoorah and huzzah! ;D I'm liking the shape of this crew, Cap'n Pirateninja! __________________ <3 You can love people so much... But you can never love someone as much as you can miss them. (...and the lesbians.)

7th Jul 2010, 03:02 PM	#18
Lucky Panda EC's unofficial Sailor Venus Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gaily gay. Out Status: Parents, Friends, and Facebook :D Location: Near Houston, Texas. Age: 18 Posts: 1,225 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. >_> If you ask me, every Pirate Crew needs a fine chef... That is my application. XD __________________

7th Jul 2010, 05:36 PM	#19
Zumbro EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: 5/6 on the Kinsey scale. Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Troy, NY Age: 22 Posts: 434 Join Date: Jan 2010	Re: WANTED: MOTLEY SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE CREW. Apply within. References not necessary. Zumbro runs screaming up to the docks "Wait! Wait for me! Don't leave yet! I may not be looking for the secrets of the clitoris, but surely there's something on this journey for me! I can navigate right good, I tell ya!" __________________ If you want to love the world again, you can't just sit back and wait for it. You have to go chase it, and it will be entirely worth it when you catch up.