So, I was bored. And generally, I am a humorous person, so probably the most irritating thing for me over the past few years is ALL THE WASTED MATERIAL! So, I made this. (And it's just meant to be funny. Yeah, one or two pick on the stereotype. Twilight fans, I apologize.) (P.S. I don't understand my brain......) Things I Learned in the Closet: 1. The boogieman is not such a bad guy… he just wants some attention. 2. If you plan to hide there until college, upgrade to a walk-in. 3. The key-slot is a much more affective peep-hole; cracking the door sets off gaydar. 4. Spending so much time with clothes give you plenty of time to work on your wardrobe. 5. Narnians are friendly. 6. Seven Minutes in Heaven is much better as a two-person game… 7. Humor is the key to the closet door; as long as you have it, people won’t be able to get in. 8. Socks are kept in the dresser drawer, not in the closet, so ladies, if your man gets cold feet, he might be on our side. 9. Mothballs aren’t candy. 10. Sometimes you don’t want to come out… you just want to pull someone else in with you :icon_wink . 11. It’s so dark in there sometimes it’s hard to fine yourself, but when you do, you look fabulous. 12. The actors in Twilight are too gay on both sides of the door. 13. It’s easier to jam gaydar if you don’t paint the door pink… I’m sorry… mauve. 14. When you go in, leave your inner child out; nobody suspects a five-year old, and keeping him in there with you is frowned upon in most societies. 15. It is possible that nobody knows you are in there, especially if you barricaded the door making it a push to come out, so I suggest you bring a cell phone, but keep your friends on speed dial and your family in the rolodex 10 steps outside. 16. Mine’s bigger than yours! (It’s a walk-in!) 17. Sometimes it’s tough to read, so I suggest you install “The Clapper”. 18. Hiding in there doesn’t always mean you are ashamed of yourself. It sometimes means you are ashamed of the people you associate with. 19. It is okay to install a sun roof. You will be fine. Even Edward Cullen can do it; it would add some sparkles to his wardrobe. 20. There are some really nice and understanding people on the outside. Don’t forget that. Being afraid is totally understandable, but it’s hard to hang out with people when you put a door between you. The only people who should be ashamed are the people who think it’s okay to tell you that you are wrong for being yourself, and that you should feel like less of a person. If there are people like that in your life, maybe they should get tossed in a 3x4 room for awhile just to see how bad it feels; mine’s vacant if you need it.
"It’s so dark in there sometimes it’s hard to fine yourself, but when you do, you look fabulous." Haha! Love it!!
People can feel free to add their own. I love new joke material. Glad you guys like what I've got though. I like making people laugh, but I never felt right saying any of this stuff before because of political correctness. Here, I figure it's pretty obvious that I'm NOT bashing anybody. (I Think its so unfair how people would react if a straight guy said this :icon_wink)
I don't often take that long when I'm doing it myself. The clean up afterwards sometimes, depends on the fantasy I've played out
This is brilliant. Its 5am and I cant think of a better way to start my day than with a few good laughs.
I'm lying ill in bed, there's no one to comfort me, no one to make a cup of tea, I've still got to study for my French test and my physics test tomorrow, and yet I'm giggling like a stupid barbie-doll!!! Thanks for making my day