Governmentium - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

maverick · 15th Feb 2011, 05:25 AM

"A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium.

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass."

NickT · 15th Feb 2011, 09:12 AM

Yay nerd humor!

maverick · 15th Feb 2011, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NickT

Yay nerd humor!

Right?

Morphim · 15th Feb 2011, 11:30 AM

<3 Awesome.

Shebbs · 15th Feb 2011, 12:05 PM

So Over My Head :|

Ghostly · 15th Feb 2011, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maverick

"A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium.

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass."

Omg D; for a second there I actually thought it was real! I was all excited cuse I was going to tell my science teacher that tommorrow but then as soon as it said deputy neutrons I was like ... -.- ROFL

**Rosina** · 15th Feb 2011, 02:13 PM

**Chip** · 15th Feb 2011, 03:46 PM

omg this is brilliant!

roborama · 16th Feb 2011, 11:50 AM

ahahahahaha

Bevo · 17th Feb 2011, 04:14 AM

I love the cynicism that oozes from every pore of this humour. Brilliant!

Grottodude · 20th Feb 2011, 06:03 AM

I would like to point out that an atom with no protons nor electrons (exception of course would be H+) wouldn't be a element at all, but still funny.

15th Feb 2011, 05:25 AM	#1
maverick let watchers become warriors Full Member Gender: You tell me. Orientation: Hey good lookin'. wink Out Status: It's pretty obvious. Location: Alabama cue banjos Age: 26 Posts: 2,118 Join Date: Nov 2010	Governmentium "A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass." __________________ Shelter me oh genius words, just give me strength / to pen these things, and give me peace to well her wings / and oh, oh carry on, all you minstrels of the world, we will catch our lady's ear, we will win for us the girl.

15th Feb 2011, 09:12 AM	#2
NickT Mr. Grammar Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Kentucky Posts: 985 Join Date: Sep 2009	Re: Governmentium Yay nerd humor! __________________ Gay Pride!

15th Feb 2011, 11:30 AM	#4
Morphim EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: ♂ + ♂ Out Status: All but family Location: Kerava, Finland Age: 18 Posts: 438 Join Date: May 2010	Re: Governmentium <3 Awesome.

15th Feb 2011, 12:05 PM	#5
Shebbs The Bitch Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: All but family Location: Prince Edward Island, Canada Age: 20 Posts: 3,893 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: Governmentium So Over My Head :\| __________________ “Don't give up the fight, Stand up for your rights.” - Bob Marley

15th Feb 2011, 02:13 PM	#7
Rosina An Abnormal Default EC Moderator Gender: Female Orientation: Straight Out Status: As out as the next straight kid Location: Surrey, UK Age: 19 Posts: 4,103 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Governmentium __________________ Hang in there, because things have always and will always change - It Gets Better Rebecca Drysdale

15th Feb 2011, 03:46 PM	#8
Chip EC Advisor EC Admin Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: northern CA Posts: 5,582 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Governmentium omg this is brilliant!

16th Feb 2011, 11:50 AM	#9
roborama EC's Teenage Grandma Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Fluid Out Status: Out to everyone Location: MA Age: 17 Posts: 397 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: Governmentium ahahahahaha __________________ Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. Harvey Fierstein

17th Feb 2011, 04:14 AM	#10
Bevo Sapienter si sincere Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Close family and all friends Location: Sydney, Australia Age: 19 Posts: 341 Join Date: Jul 2009	Re: Governmentium I love the cynicism that oozes from every pore of this humour. Brilliant! __________________ "Man reaches his perfection, not through what he has, not even through what he does, but entirely through what he is." — Oscar Wilde

20th Feb 2011, 06:03 AM	#11
Grottodude The Linguistic Savant Full Member Gender: ♂ Orientation: ♂+♂=<3 Out Status: Everyone! =D Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada Age: 21 Posts: 185 Join Date: Apr 2010	Re: Governmentium I would like to point out that an atom with no protons nor electrons (exception of course would be H+) wouldn't be a element at all, but still funny. __________________ "Goin' in the wind is an eddy of the truth and it's naked It's verbatim and it's shakin'." - Mother Mother "Verbatim"