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The inevitable Chuck Norris thread...

Discussion in 'Fun and Games' started by Katelynn, Jul 18, 2011.

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  1. Katelynn

    Katelynn
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    OK, so I was at a big music outdoor music festival weekend before last and, as has been the norm for about the last 5 or 6 years, people have been texting Chuck Norris stuff up onto the big screens. Thought this might be a little fun to see what people come up with or have already seen themselves somewhere...

    I'll start it off:

    Jesus may be able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.

    Can't wait to see what others will post here! Should be good for a couple laughs too! :lol:
     
    #1 Katelynn, Jul 18, 2011
  2. Gordon

    Gordon
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    Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone; the phone answers to him.
     
    #2 Gordon, Jul 18, 2011
  3. Super Trouper

    Super Trouper Guest

    Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

    ---------- Post added 18th Jul 2011 at 06:08 PM ----------

    Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it.
     
    #3 Super Trouper, Jul 18, 2011
  4. blikeo

    blikeo
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    chuck norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the world down.
     
    #4 blikeo, Jul 18, 2011
  5. Bassbolt

    Bassbolt
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    Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants from them.
     
    #5 Bassbolt, Jul 18, 2011
  6. Hemera

    Hemera
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    Chuck Norris mother didn't give birth to him he roundhouse kicked his way out
     
    #6 Hemera, Jul 18, 2011
  7. GlindaRose

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    Chuck Norris is never wrong. If something he says doesn't make sense, it's science that screwed up.
     
    #7 GlindaRose, Jul 18, 2011
  8. Random Dent

    Random Dent Guest

    Chuck Norris does not sleep...he waits.
     
    #8 Random Dent, Jul 18, 2011
  9. Katelynn

    Katelynn
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    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
     
    #9 Katelynn, Jul 19, 2011
  10. Beachboi92

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    tornadoes don't actually exist, Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks
     
    #10 Beachboi92, Jul 19, 2011
  11. Ethan

    Ethan
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    My favorite:
    They decided to build a life-size monument in tribute to Chuck Norris' penis in Canada.
    Why do you think it's called the CN Tower?
     
    #11 Ethan, Jul 19, 2011
  12. Random Dent

    Random Dent Guest

    Chuck Norris' beard. 'Nuff said.
     
    #12 Random Dent, Jul 19, 2011
  13. DarkClarity

    DarkClarity
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    Chuck Norris doesn't catch Pokémon, they simply jump into the Pokéball.
     
    #13 DarkClarity, Jul 20, 2011
  14. GlindaRose

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    Chuck Norris doesn't need to travel. The world simply moves around him.
     
    #14 GlindaRose, Jul 21, 2011
  15. Katelynn

    Katelynn
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    Chuck Norris was originally casted for Braveheart, but then it would have been a 7-minute movie.
     
    #15 Katelynn, Jul 30, 2011
  16. lostinthought9

    lostinthought9
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    [​IMG]

    <3
     
    #16 lostinthought9, Jul 30, 2011
  17. Mercy

    Mercy Guest

    chuck norris is the only one who can tough mc hammer
     
    #17 Mercy, Jul 30, 2011
  18. SaphireMoon

    SaphireMoon
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    Chuck norris has a vaction home...on the SUN
     
    #18 SaphireMoon, Aug 7, 2011
  19. DarkClarity

    DarkClarity
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    Fear of spiders is called Arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called Claustrophobia and fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
     
    #19 DarkClarity, Aug 8, 2011
  20. Katelynn

    Katelynn
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    Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
     
    #20 Katelynn, Nov 16, 2011
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