Oracle Of Delphi

omg it is so fun having a conversation with the oracle (that actually sounded better when i thought it, but whatever)
Oh! and I like it even more because it told me that i am gonna have a boyfriend Yay!!...now I just need to know when

 

Q:Is the glass half empty or half full?
A:Try the first one, you’ll be happier. If I’m correct, tell others I said it. Otherwise tell them you came up with it yourself.

Q:Who is the coolest and smartest person in the world?
A: David Beckham. However, please keep in mind that sometimes my answers are full of crap.

Q:What/Who is Chuck Norris?
A:Johnny Depp

Q:What does "does" mean?
Aain

Q:What is Empty Closets?
Aleasure

I'm guessing there are limited results. lol

 

You asked:

Why am I gay?
The Oracle replied:

It’s because of an ancient gypsy curse. You need dragon blood to remove it.

You asked:

Why am I sick?
The Oracle replied:

The cause and consequence are connected with so complex network that it better to call it destiny. Although I don’t believe in destiny. I hope this answer satisfies you. Even if it doesn’t, it’s the only one you’re going to get.

You asked:

Will I get a girlfriend?
The Oracle replied:

You will if you can.

You asked:

Where is the love of my life?
The Oracle replied:

In Roskilde rock festival in Denmark.

:roflmao:

 

Am I gay?

The Oracle replied:
I know you feel inside that you are. And yes, you are.


Do you have a brother?

The Oracle replied:
I did yesterday, but not anymore.


What did you do to your brother?

The Oracle replied:
The Internet


The internet removed your brother?

The Oracle replied:
I can’t catch your train of thought.


Why do you lie to me?

The Oracle replied:
Because there is still some love left in the world.


Did you kill your brother?!

The Oracle replied:
After the most thorough investigation I can answer with confidence: no.



Of course you didn’t kill him, it was the neighbour’s cat, right?

The Oracle replied:
I don’t see what you mean.


Oh my, why do you continue to lie to me woman?!

The Oracle replied:
It’s all because of Canadian influence.

BUSTED!

 

LMAO your answers were better than mine!

 

That did it for me.

 

You asked:
What is my breast size?
The Oracle replied:
Huge.
I'm offended.

You asked:
Are my pants on fire?
The Oracle replied:
No, but things look bright nevertheless.

You asked:
What will happen if I attack the Persians?
The Oracle replied:
It’s a nightmare, I’m afraid.
Geez, not what she said to Croesus... Make your mind up!

 

You asked:
Am I gay?

The Oracle replied:
You’re more gay than a San Fransisco man in a Hawaiian shirt sniffing some liquid gold and watching Sex in the City. By the way, I think I like you.



You asked:
Where is the love of my life?

The Oracle replied:
In Lithuania.
(OMG this was so WEIRD XD)



You asked:
Which Lithuanian city I have to visit to find my love?

The Oracle replied:
The one which feels best. This is all I have to say on this matter.



You asked:
When will I find my love?

The Oracle replied:
Three days from now.



You asked:
Will I have wife?

The Oracle replied:
Yes.


You asked:
Will i have husband?

The Oracle replied:
I bet my ass you will.


and so on ;D

 

So she is thinking that you are bisexual ;D

 

Am I gay?
You’re more gay than a San Fransisco man in a Hawaiian shirt sniffing some liquid gold and
watching Sex in the City.

 

Q: Am I gay?
A: You're the gayest ever.

Q: What is the meaning of life?
A: That information is denied from mortals.

Q: But what if I am not a mortal?
A: I’m not convinced it is the right path to take.

Q: How is that a even a choice?
A: With peace of mind

Q: Are you on drugs?
A: I had to breathe butane gas rising from the crevises on the wall in the temple of Apollo. It was fun and I was dizzy. It seems those years had permanent effect on my brains

Q: Will you ever stop doing drugs?
A: The future looks bad

Q: Oh, btw, what happened to your brother?
A: Political life

Q: Political life killed your brother?
A: You could ask me any question in the world and you come up with this?

Q: Then did you kill your brother?
A: Hmm yes.

Proof!

 

You asked:
Will I get married?

The Oracle replied:
If you do, you will destroy a great empire.

You asked:
Are you a woman?

The Oracle replied:
Usually I’m not, but right now I surely am.

You asked:
Am I gay?

The Oracle replied:
You're more gay than a San Fransisco man in a Hawaiian shirt sniffing some liqiud gold and watching Sex in The City.(This is my favorite one.)

 

You asked:
How big is my cock?

The Oracle replied:
Could satisfy me! 22 cm (9 in).

 

You asked:
Will I crash my car tonight?

The Oracle replied:
It is really all up to you. I have faith in you. Nobody will notice, so you have nothing to fear.

You asked:
So, will I die tonight or what?

The Oracle replied:
Yes.

You asked:
Can I prevent this?

The Oracle replied:
I’m absolutely positive you can.

You asked:
How do I prevent myself from dying?

The Oracle replied:
With balls.

You asked:
But what if I don’t have any balls?

The Oracle replied:
Don’t even think about it. It’ll be a disaster.

You asked:
So will I die tonight then or not?

The Oracle replied:
Yes.

You asked:
By the way, what happened to your brother?

The Oracle replied:
Life itself

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay....

If I die tonight, please kill that oracle.

 

She liiiiies!

The above conversation was obviously an attempt to scare me!

You asked:
Am I going to die tonight?

The Oracle replied:
Absolutely not, how could you?

Hooray!