Q: What's the difference between a hamburger and a homosexual? A: A hamburger doesn't fart when you take the gherkin out.
And the lord said unto John "Come forth and you shall recieve eternal life". John came fifth and so he won a toaster.
Nice! Keep them coming! What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? A microwave oven stops when you open the door!
A blonde is in a terrible car accident, yet she doesn't have a scratch. When the ambulances and police arrive, they ask her, "Ma'am, can you tell us what happened?" The blonde replies, "Well, you see, officer, it was the strangest thing... I was driving the speed limit and everything, but suddenly this tree popped out in front of me! So I swerved to avoid it, and then there was another tree! So I swerved to avoid it, and then there was another tree! So I swerved to avoid it, and then there was another tree! So I swerved to avoid it, and then there was another tree! So I swerved to avoid it, and then there was another tree! So I swerved to avoid it, and then there was another tree! So I swerved to avoid it..." The police officer interrupts her. "Um, ma'am- That was the air freshener on your mirror swinging back and forth." :roflmao: I love blonde jokes.
---------- Post added 4th Aug 2012 at 10:32 AM ---------- I liked this one too - sometimes being slightly un-PC and naughty just hits the spot!
Why is it dangerous to enter a marathon full of lesbians? Because everyone knows you shouldn't run with scissorers.
A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this... 'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.' She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away." So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?" Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"
A guy and his blonde girlfriend were driving home one night when the boyfriend asks: "Is my right directional working?" So she looks out the window and says: "Yes... no... yes... no... yes... no... yes... no... yes... no"
Q: What's the difference between a gay man and a teapot? A They're both (makes "I'm a little teapot" hand motions) faabulous! You have to see that one...
