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Anti Jokes

Discussion in 'Fun and Games' started by Menaki-Neko, Sep 18, 2012.

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  1. Menaki-Neko

    Menaki-Neko
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    Here's how the game is played, we all try to come up with all the anti-jokes possible. An anti-joke is a joke that is misleading.

    I'll start with a couple of examples.

    Yo' mama so fat....that we're all very concerned for her health.

    What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

    What's your anti-joke?
     
    #1 Menaki-Neko, Sep 18, 2012
  2. Owen

    Owen
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    Your brother's so gay, he has consensual sex with other men.

    A white man, a black man, and a middle-eastern man walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.
     
    #2 Owen, Sep 18, 2012
  3. Danny19

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    Why was six afraid of seven?
    It wasn't. Numbers are incapable of feeling fear.

    A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What will it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because it's a duck.
     
    #3 Danny19, Sep 18, 2012
  4. Owen

    Owen
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    What's worse than one annoying clown?

    Hate crimes.
     
    #4 Owen, Sep 18, 2012
  5. Pain

    Pain Guest

    What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

    The Holocaust :frowning2:
     
    #5 Pain, Sep 18, 2012
  6. Romi

    Romi
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    So these two muffins walk into a bar.

    Except not really.
     
    #6 Romi, Sep 18, 2012
  7. DoABarrelTroll

    DoABarrelTroll Guest

    Two blonde's walk into a bar, it's ironic, you'd think one of them would have seen it.
     
    #7 DoABarrelTroll, Sep 19, 2012
  8. Menaki-Neko

    Menaki-Neko
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    A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
     
    #8 Menaki-Neko, Sep 19, 2012
  9. Kerze

    Kerze
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    Three triplets walk into a joke all wearing the same clothes and the joke doesn't function properly because there's no way to distinguish between them.
     
    #9 Kerze, Sep 19, 2012
  10. everett

    everett
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    A man walks into a bar. He sits down and has drink and then leaves.
     
    #10 everett, Sep 19, 2012
  11. solarcat

    solarcat
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    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To get to the other side.
    (that's pretty much the original anti-joke isn't it?)

    Why did the hippie climb a tree?
    To help rescue a cat.

    How do you stop a rhino from charging?
    With a tank.
     
    #11 solarcat, Sep 21, 2012
  12. Menaki-Neko

    Menaki-Neko
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    What's worse than having your dog pee on the floor?

    Having your dog grab your sisters USED tampon out of the garbage causing you to have to pick it up and bring it back to the garbage.

    (True story)
     
    #12 Menaki-Neko, Sep 21, 2012
  13. Praetor

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    So a Jew, Muslim, and Christian are on an airplane...

    And the airplane lands safely, and they get off it and go about their lives.
     
    #13 Praetor, Sep 21, 2012
  14. GirlNextDoor

    GirlNextDoor Guest

    What do a grape and a rabbit have in common?

    They're both purple, except for the rabbit.
     
    #14 GirlNextDoor, Sep 21, 2012
  15. Pexetta

    Pexetta
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    'Doctor doctor, I think I'm a pack of cards.'
    'I'm glad you came to see me, delusions and hallucinations can be upsetting for people. I can give you a prescription for clozapine which ought to reduce the symptoms, also I'll refer you to the mental health unit so you can see an psychiatrist with expertise in this area.'
     
    #15 Pexetta, Sep 22, 2012
  16. Dummy

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    I'm not going to type an anti-joke. So here it is:
     
    #16 Dummy, Sep 22, 2012
  17. Pret Allez

    Pret Allez
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    So a Jew walks into a synagogue.

    And worships.
     
    #17 Pret Allez, Sep 22, 2012
  18. solarcat

    solarcat
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    A man walks into a bar.
    Then he goes to the optometrist.

    Take my wife, please!
    Really, she loves baseball, and I have to work that day anyways.
     
    #18 solarcat, Sep 22, 2012
  19. Owen

    Owen
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    A daughter walks up to her dad and says, "Dad, I'm a lesbian." He replies, "Oh! Well, that was unexpected." Then his wife walks in and says, "Charles, I've been lying to you and to myself all these years. I'm also a lesbian." The father yells, "Doesn't anyone in this family like penis?!" to which the son replies, "I guess not."

    A Christian and an atheist walk into a bar. They proceed to have a few drinks and enjoy each others' company because they both treat religion as a private matter like the mature adults they are.

    A priest, a prostitute, and a teletubby walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke? Get the fuck out of here."
     
    #19 Owen, Sep 22, 2012
  20. Mlpguy88

    Mlpguy88
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    An Irish guy walks into a bar.
     
    #20 Mlpguy88, Sep 23, 2012
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