I don't think of myself as trans. I'm happy being a guy. I'm not unhappy being gay. But I have been having some feeling. Some really, really confusing feelings. I only become aroused by imagining myself as a girl. And I don't mean just bottoming, I need to picture a man on top of me, face to face, entering my vagina. But I don't feel wrong, in my daily life. Mostly all the trans people I have ever talked to have said that they always knew that they were in the wrong body; I don't feel that way. I really am happy as I am, but I can't reconcile being cisgendered and having these feelings. Does anyone know what this means? Is it normal? Help?
Sounds like pure fantasy to me. If you don't have an difficulties being male, I wouldn't worry too much about whether or not you're trans*. To me, it just seems like you have a fixation on this particular fantasy of being a woman while having sex and that those feelings don't extend beyond the sexual. Does it really bother you to have these fantasies? It's not unhealthy unless it's interfering with your functioning. Are you in a relationship with a man presently and can't become aroused without retreating into this fantasy? That might be a problem. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it. Just let yourself fantasize about it, enjoy the arousal, and don't fret over what it means.
If its not broken, don't fix it. You're perfectly happy with your gender and body. You just like being a woman during sex. Which is perfectly fine.
"I can't reconcile being cisgendered and having these feelings." That is the sticking point that you might want to focus on. I would recommend talking to a gender therapist or lgbt specialist therapist. Also, don't believe that everyone follows the "transgender narrative" that is pushed by the media as the sole transgender experience. Tons of trans people did not "always know" since they were children. The wrong body thing is a simplification of many peoples feelings as well. Not everyone hates their body or their genitals for example. Hell only like 1/3 of trans woman even get the full srs. ---------- Post added 9th Jul 2013 at 03:52 PM ---------- Wanting to be a woman during sex is kind of big indicator that something (maybe not necessarily something that needs to be fixed through transition) is going on though, wouldn't you say? Especially the vagina experience. At the very least this is causing him some distress so it couldn't hurt to examine his feelings more and even talk to a therapist that can help him sift through things.
You aren't alone. Note that my username is mostly because of my thoughts about my gender. Sometimes I get aroused as a guy. Sometimes I get aroused by thinking of myself as a girl (and I can "take care" of that situation by treating my body as if I were a girl). Sometimes I get upset that I have boy parts at all. Other times I can like having those parts. (partially relevant, mostly irrelevant rant omitted for the longevity of the thread) Sometimes I get upset about my lack of bust. If the confusion is really bothering you, a gender specialist or LGBT therepist may be helpful. If it doesn't bother you much, then it may not be worth seeing a therepist on this issue.
