Normal reaction? (Lesbians/ bisexual women, I'd like your opinions!)

I think this is a perfectly normal state for a lesbian/bi lady to go through. It's all part of the figuring out process. I personally never struggled with gender identity concerns, but I've had numerous lesbians who are close to me go through this experience. One became FTM, one became butch, and one still isn't sure. So, I do think this is a normal thing to feel. It is important to remember that gender and sexuality in many cases, and one does not need to feel locked into one thing.

For you second question, I can relate a bit. I do find it difficult to relate to some straight women at times, just because I feel like we talk about different things. Other women are sometimes intimidating, haha! But yes, I do believe this is a common experience within the LGBT community.

 

At least for me, I believe it is natural to first question your identity/who you are when you first come to accept and realize your sexuality. By that same token, however, I believe it's a common experience for many transmen to first come out and believe they're lesbian before later accepting themselves as men. How it was for me anyway.

I once identified as a lesbian but a few months back began to realize some of the same things you mentioned in another thread. Relating to men, having trouble relating to women (even queer women), wanting to be a boy, etc.

I can't throw a label on you because that's for you to figure out. The best I can suggest is to play around with your gender express, try to see if presenting more masculine works for you (that's what codified it for me), if you prefer being addressed as male (online's a good place to be male without worrying about how well you can 'pass'.)

 

For me, personally, it was a number of factors that all added together. Relating better to men, wishing to be a boy since I was young. Wearing guy clothing, cutting my hair and realizing I felt more like myself when I did. A growing discomfort with being associated as a woman and daughter, growing resentment for my tits, hips as I realized I had a choice in living as a woman or a man.

Being a man just feels like a natural conclusion, honestly. Like I barely know male culture but I know that it's what I want because, as a person, being male feels like the best way to mark how I feel and experience the world. I mean, I once identified as a lesbian, and a stereotypical lipstick lesbian at that but now it feels like I've been wearing a mask all my life because I was pressured to conform and be my mother's perfect daughter.

So...Basically it in a nutshell, that's what lead me to finally identify myself as a transman.

 

I would like to stress that there is no one-size-fits-all trans* narrative. On one side, you might have kids who knew their true gender from eighteen months, transboys who asked their mothers when they'd grow a penis, transgirls who wanted to cut theirs off. On the other side, folks who didn't realize it until they were in their mid-forties, married with kids. And everything between and beyond.

Again, how you identify is up to you. Comfortable, happy being a lesbian woman- nothing wrong with embracing your identity. Women (nor men or anyone else) need fit into neat little boxes of gender. If you have a masculine side but identify as a woman, doesn't make you any less of one. Vice versa.

 

(Apologies in advance for the long post!! I just wanted to fully explain my experience)
This sounds very similar to what I am going through right now. I have known from quite a young age that I was attracted to girls/women but I refused to admit it and was determined that one day I could change all this if I met a guy and had a relationship. Perhaps I thought it would make me straight, I don't know. Anyway, the years went by, I never did meet a guy, I never did have a relationship (with a guy or girl) and I was still attracted to women. So at the age of 24 I finally decided I needed to accept this and began therapy. However, it took me months to be able to tell my therapist about my sexuality and in that time I started to question my gender identity because I knew I was attracted to women but I didn't feel comfortable with the idea of being with a woman as a woman myself. I gradually have felt more and more uncomfortable being a woman and started to imagine myself as a man to overcome this discomfort. The thing is I'm not sure that the man I imagine myself as is really me. It's like another person.

"I get these weird thoughts that generally make me feel disconnected from myself."
"It's almost as if identifying as male would be an easy path to not really going for life and being emotionally open"

I can completely relate to the feeling of being disconnected from myself as imagining I am male and also, not being emotionally open! I could have written that!

The weird thing is, since i have begun to think like this I have felt increasingly uncomfortable with myself and my body. I never had any thoughts of wanting to be a boy or even a masculine woman throughout my childhood or adolescence. I wouldn't say I was ever super feminine but I would be happy to wear feminine clothing, make up and I have always had long hair. When I began therapy, I did not expect any of this to change because I know that gender and sexual orientation are two separate things. However, 1 year down the line and so much has changed. I am still unsure of my gender identity at the moment and I am still in therapy but with a new therapist but this is where I am at:

I no longer feel comfortable with having a female body, although if I am imagine myself as a man I feel very disconnected like another person and like Minnie said, not emotionally open. In fact, it's almost like I have no connection with my emotions when I think of myself as a man.

I feel so uncomfortable with dressing the way I used to (dresses, blouses, cardigans, cami vests etc) that now all I wear daily is skinny jeans and t-shirts, still women's but as plain and neutral as I can find and for some reason I can't even wear bright colours any more. I cover up my body as much as possible because it causes me to feel anxious. I still have long hair although I have thought about getting it cut short but then again I feel like it isn't 'me' either.

I too find it difficult to relate to other women because I no longer feel that I am the same as them since I have acknowledged my sexuality. I don't really know if I feel like one of the guys, I mean what does it feel like to be a guy anyway??? But, I would probably say I feel more comfortable around guys, as long as they're not attracted to me. I think this is because there isn't any chance of me being attracted to them, as I might be to a woman.

Finally, I frequently imagine myself as a man to see if transitioning to ftm would relieve my issues of being a woman. However, as I said, whenever I do I feel this weird sense of disconnection and anxiety which I cannot explain. It almost feels like I am losing myself and this other person is taking over. The distress that this causes has led me to contemplate suicide many times because I don't want to become this other person and completely lose touch with my emotions and the way I perceive the world as a woman. I don't know if this is other person is the real me I am supposed to be which I have somehow suppressed all my life through continuing to live in ignorance as a woman. I have so many questions which I cannot yet answer and as I said I am currently in therapy to explore all of this until hopefully, I find the real me.

Is this normal? I don't know but the fact that we're all here shows we're not alone.

 

Sorry, aside from being on the other end, questioning my gender to be a woman, and not a man..
I could have written this paragraph. Your feelings match mine in ways I have not seen before, I feel a little better knowing I'm not alone.

I feel like I forced myself to be uncomfortable, and it's like if I move my head in any other direction, I'm forced to look at something I son't want to. I feel uncomfortable with myself but don't feel at home imagining myself as a woman, Surreal, sick, sad. And it has become my reality everyday. I don't know left from right anymore. My fantasies that make me smile and happy are when I don't put myself in check and imagine myself with someone I love, being in a relationship I have yet to experience. I feel like I can't now because of what is going on would hold me back.

I thought discovering yourself would be something joyous. I just feel weird. constantly feeling like there is impending doom, and sad.

Well find our answers yall

 

You might be transsexual, you might not. Have you looked into other gender identities St all? Because you might find something else that fits you better. What about demigirl or transmasculine maybe? You might like those ones better. But it all just depends on you and what you want to be called. But maybe try to research some different gender identities?