Hey You guys, I'm new here, found this site on Google thought it could maybe help, it'd be nice to have some advice. I am a female.. biologically that is. For years I have thought of myself to be more of a masculine person, I liked making my voice deep, I cut my hair to a high an tight, I felt uncomfortable in dresses shorts, anything girly. It feels unnatural if that makes sense, I would sometimes for many nights, go into the bathroom, make a fake beard, bind my chest and pack, it would feel great. But i'm not really sure, if that makes me transgendered. I wish many times I could be a man.. idk... my family is very old fashioned Puerto Ricans. When I told them I was a lesbian, most of them accepted it, but they make me feel bad about it. I brought up once I feel like a boy, and I was crying. but my mother made fun, and said I was dumb for thinking that and I was starting with drama. So since then I would always push the thoughts or ideas aside... maybe someone can give me advice... I cant even enjoy sexual activities, because it just doesn't feel right.. idk. anyways if you've read this far, you're pretty awesome thanks for atleast listening
Heya, It must feel frustrating that your family isn't taking you seriously. You told them something that probably took a lot of courage to say and they shut you down. It's important to understand though that they may not be intentionally hurting your feelings. Your family has their own feelings that they're trying to work through (denial, etc) and they are outwardly trying to process them. I would encourage you to try to be patient, yet communicative with them. What you've described concerning physical characteristics is called dysphoria. It is the uncomfortable feeling of being at odds with your body and it's something that many trans* people are familiar with. What you do though, doesn't make you trans*. It is how you identify inside. It takes time to sort out your feelings, and it's not something anyone else can do for you. Posting here and talking about what you are feeling can help a lot. I hope you do not keep pushing the thoughts/ideas aside and start to face them head on. It will help you come to terms. If you are still unsure of if you're trans* or not, it might help to just try it out. when I was trying to figure out myself, I found it helpful to be male in some aspect of my life. I started by having a male name/profile on a website, and looked at how that made me feel. Sometimes I would wear male clothes out in public and see how I felt when people referred to me as male. I realized that I'm definitely more comfortable as male. I definitely look forward to seeing you more around the forum! There will always be someone here if you need help and it's an amazing place to just get your thoughts out there.
Thanks! I've done a lot of research on this stuff, just I worry a lot.. I decided to purchase a packer, which is coming in this week, and (im in disbelief) I do not have buyers remorse at ALL which I usually do. I'm extremely excited to have it! In my head im a guy, you know... well I feel like one. And I did bring up the subject to a friend, and it felt amazing to tell her, because its how I really feel. I just doubt, and worry. when I look in the mirror, after I do the whole facial hair and packing.. I smile. It feels amazing, but everyday I just feel, like im pretending. does this make sense? that I wish I could just .. idk,
We all have those moments where it feels like no matter what we do or how hard we try other people won't see us as our identified gender. one of the best things you can do is what you are doing already with your friend - surround yourself with people that treat you/see you as your identified gender. It is very affirming and validating. Why do you think you might feel like you're pretending?
well, like at work, or for my mom, shes constantly telling me to wear earrings, put on make up, grow out my hair... dressing and acting so feminine just to please people. and it upsets me.. I don't like it. Its uncomfortable omg and my moms wedding is coming up, she bought me a dress, and wants me to get extensions... when I tried on the dress... I just wanted to rip it off... I felt disgusted, to even look at myself. Yo, im just really confused about it all. I don't know whats going on, but its been like this for along time, and now im old enough to actually process it all, my minds runs in cirlces.
You might not be trans, but if you're having disphoria like suninthesky said, there's more of a chance that you're trans. You might not be transsexual, where you wanna get surgeries and such to be the opposite sex. There are a lot of identities of being a mix of both or neither and such. By seeing as you haven't said anything o he sort, I think f you are trans, you're transsexual and just a boy, not one of the non binary identities. But I know how you feel. I haven't told any of my family that I'm questioning my gender, so I haven't gotten any crap from them about it. I've only told my boyfriend, and luckily he's only been supportive. But on of my coworkers is really transphobic. Of course he doesn't know because I haven told anyone at work. But I remember we go into an argument one time because he was saying all this transphobic stuff and it made me mad. So he kind of made me scared to even come out. Because I don't want him or anyone else saying stuff about me. Or even try to present myself as more of a guy without coming out. Like binding because I have big boobs and I know someone would notice. But I'm gonna try to present myself as more masculine anyway, even if its just in little steps. You should try it to. I'm sorry about your family though. Maybe if you make your outward appearance more manly and you stand firm, they will come to accept you. It may just take some time. Just try not to let what they say bother you. If you know what you are, no one has any right to tell you otherwise. And you can't let other people make you doubt yourself. I'm sorry though. I hope your family become more accepting and you have an easier time with your gender journey.
