Hello guys, i will try to tell everything in the shortest way (my english is not Very good) I will start saying that i thought i was Straight (i am 20), i have only had straight relationships yet. (**I always felt attraction to other guys, but i thought i was just admiring them, and thinking i just wanted to be like them**:eusa_liar) I started questioning myself in the day i tried to have sex with a girl, we were kissing each other, i was turned on, but when we took our clothes off i suddenly lost all the desire and couldn't keep my thing on :***: (if you know what i mean), but i thought it was just anxiety. Next time we tried, i smoked some weed before the sex, and i had a VERY good time with her, but during the act i was focused on my body, not on hers.... From this day on i have had sex with other girls (every time i had to smoke weed before) and i really enjoyed the experiences. Until now (a week ago) i was dating a super hot blonde girl, we were at home (she doesn`t like weed) and things started to get WARM, again, i was super turned on, but when she took her clothes off i had to pretend i was attracted to her body and i got nervous, and then i coudn`t do it =( :bang: From this day i am almost sure i am gay. And i ended my relationship with her because of that (i didn`t told anyone about my sexuality), and since that i am REALLY happy with myself, because now it looks like my thoughts are clear, i am feeling FREE. Another crazy thing: I sometimes get turned on by looking at me on the Mirror , i fantasize about meeting myself and enjoying my body (i am not crazy, i swear)! Sorry for the long post, hope somebody will read.
This isn't really a gender identity issue... at all. I read this all. Nothing you've written really demands any feedback or answers. Is there anything specific that you'd like to hear about from us? It's good you feel free and have presumably accepted yourself, though =) Welcome to EC, by the way.
