I'm biologically a man, but I'm torn as to what I want to be. Honestly I think I'd be happier as a woman, but I don't know for sure. I like some things about being a man, I like "guy" stuff, connect fairly well with other guys and like guys clothing, but I like female clothing better. I'm pansexual so I can definitely find sexual and aesthetic appeal in both genders and appreciate my masculine ones, but I fantasize about being a woman like everyday. I really want to wear dresses, skirts, bikinis, make-up, etc. I also just really feel more comfortable picturing myself as a girl; I seem to always pick girl characters in video games when I can. I wish I could menstruate and get pregnant and it makes me really sad when I know that can never happen. I also just feel like I connect and have better friendships with girls. It's really unfortunate that when I see a pretty woman I tend to feel as much if not more envy than attraction. I want her outfit, her features, her breasts, her genitals, her hair, etc. Hell I sit up at night and cry and stew in self-loathing about my biological sex. I just really don't know what to do. Transitioning is really scary and I don't know if it's what I want. Also I just feel really awkward talking about it with anyone I know. Every time I talk or think about it, I just get really embarrassed and sad and feel really weird. :icon_redf :tears:
Feel free to pm me any questions that you have. I am just starting my transition and HRT. It is a scary process as you are literally changing who you are physically to match up with who you are mentally. However, the best advice I have for you is to seek counseling and based off of a professional opinion to figure out the best course for your decisions to take you.
That's exactly how I feel! I'm a biological male, and you'll see that's what I identify as. Although it's not quite accurate. I'm probably like 40% guy, 60% girl. I like suits and stuff, but I do feel envious of girls. Well, not so much the menstruation and pregnancy part. I don't understand wanting that, oh well. Anyway, if I were reborn and no one knew who I was in a previous life, I'd choose to be a girl. But I'd be a pretty masculine one anyway. I would never want to wear dresses or have piercings or whatever. So I basically figure it's not worth it going through transitioning (since I don't hate being a guy, I'd just slightly prefer being a girl), and ending up having a much harder time finding love, being discriminated against, etc. Note that I'm not trying to say YOU shouldn't transition, you sound like you have much more serious dysphoria than I do. I'm just offering my personal experience to give you more data. Good luck, and have a good life!
Thanks for the input, personal feelings, and advice. I'm seeing a therapist and have been talking with her about my gender issues. I recently came out to my brother and I think talking about it has made it a bit easier.
