As long as I can remember, I've always hated myself. Guy related stuff doesn't normally interest me (like sports and cars). Never felt the urge/desire to find a girlfriend. It just didn't seem right in my mind (not saying I'm gay as I don't like men, but I do like women). Wearing guy clothes doesn't feel right either. . I can't stand how I look, especially in the mirror or a picture. Even when using the restroom, I can't stand my "package". I feel disgusted and something that I shouldn't have. I tried working out to try and get over this, but it didn't help. One time, I even thought about joining the military to see if I could over come it (which I didn't join). Between this and the battle in my mind (dealing with the idea of transgender related stuff), I don't know what to do. Even if I keep myself completely busy, my mind will still wonder off in that direction. I feel like my mind and body are not in sync. I wish I knew what was going on and what to do. I often catch myself thinking about what I would do to not have this body anymore. Is it gender identity issues? I'm in need of some helping advice. :confused2:
Do you hate being seen as a guy? How do male pronouns make you feel? I know from experience that what you have expressed isn't something that goes away. I can't tell you if you're trans* or not. Only you can decide that. But if you identify as a woman, feel uncomfortable with your body the way you described then there's a good chance you're probably gender dysphoric. I thought going into the military would make these thoughts of wanting to look like a woman go away, because I felt like one inside. I'm still struggling but I hope to see a therapist soon to talk about it... Seems like nothing will ever make a "man" out of me
It bothers me, but peoples opinions and thoughts don't bother me. My friends refer to me by a nickname and not my real name. It is a gender neutral nickname, which doesn't bother me. My real name is something that bothers me a majority of the time. I try to be masculine around people (even got a beard to help give out that image), but when I am alone, I leave it at the door. I've dressed up, but not in public (living in a small town, everyone would know immediately >.<). Deep down, I like dressing up. I'm not into things that are defined as "manly". Like cars or sports. I get jealous when I look at women as they are a woman.
Would you rather look like a girl? Hormones are pretty amazing. They can give you softer/clearer skin, "feminine" body fat deposits in your face/tummy/hips/ass/legs, decreased/softer body hair, and can do wonders for the mental drain of gender dysphoria. I've been taking them for 15 months and have seen some seriously dramatic effects. I'm happier in my personal life, and I'm happier in my social life/work/school. My life is much mroe comfortable when I'm being treated and viewed as a woman. You might want to consider it if your current situation is genuinely unbearable. I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have, just post it to my wall. <3
