I have a boyfriend I have been with for almost 3 years. He is the first guy I have been with. I love him but I don't love the sex. I find myself missing being with women. A lot of the time I fantasize of what my life would be like if I were a guy. I used to dress like a guy all the time and one of my friends convinced me to stop and I went through a lot of bullying for it in school. Sometimes I wish I was born a guy But I feel like I still would have been gay. I am a girl who is attracted to girls, but in love with a guy emotionally not so much physically, but I also wish I was a guy so I could be with guys. So what exactly am I? :help:
Your bi then, and possibly trans if you want to be a guy. Really its all a spectrum like me I want to be a girl appearance wise but I want to keep my genitals maybe get a boob job depending on how big they get and if I'm satisfied or not, I'm attracted to girls and sorta to guys.
That all depends. That was me about a year ago before I concluded I was FtM. I actually avoided dating men (despite being bisexual) because I "couldn't love them the way I wanted." Think carefully. No need to jump to any conclusions any time soon- play around with labels and see how you prefer to present yourself to the world. In what kind of body, male or female, would you want to live out the rest of your days in if you had a choice? How do you see yourself? If you could never, ever become a man and simply became more of a woman every day, how would you feel? Gender is confusing, I'll admit. So don't rush. Play around with your presentation, pick a male name and see how it feels. I will remind you- clothes and what you played with or did as a kid aren't determinors of gender identity (though they might be a barometer in terms of how you prefer to present). Plenty of cismen were feminine, plenty of ciswomen are tomboys or "butch". Remember, it's how you feel underneath the clothes and if you feel you're a man, then you very well could be a transman. Nor does sexual orientation have anything to do with gender identity. There are straight, gay, bisexual, asexual and whatnot transmen- I've heard it put like this before and it's a phrase I'm particularly fond of "Sexuality is who you want to sleep with, gender identity is who you want to be in bed." Let me know if you have any questions- that's what we're here for at EC.
Sexual orientation and gender identity are two separate things. Its complicated enough tackling one or the other, but trying to figure them both out at once as if their is some connection is a recipe for disaster. I've gone from identifying as: Straight male Bi male Gay male Bi male Straightish female Queer female When truly pressed for a real label I often tell people I'm "Wibbly Wobbly Sexy Wexy." I like it that way. These aspects of yourself may be important on a certain level, but don't let them define you.
