Since about April/May I've quite seriously considered that I'm a lesbian, and found myself liking guys less and the female body more. Thing is, when I accepted it to myself and just let myself think about what made me happy - which I thought was being gay and having a loving girlfriend - it felt liberating. I've even developed a semi-crush on a woman I know but the last time I saw her it wasn't really there. I did get quite upset over speculating about how I wouldn't have romances like most people (I know this is petty but I loved the idea of things like men and women waltzing haha!), so I worry I've talked myself out of it. Masturbating, I'd almost always think of women, but now I think of guys - sometimes where thinking of women is a turnoff! I was thinking the other day about relationships, and despite before being quite happy with the idea of being with a woman (and not with a man), I've now found myself thinking I wouldn't want to be with a woman - and suddenly men seem attractive again! Just now it's like I can appreciate when a woman is really beautiful and develop feelings for her, but just strong platonic rather than romantic/"I want to be with you" ones. I sometimes feel like maybe the whole lesbian thing and gender identity worries - covered in earlier posts - were ways to make me appreciate myself and my gender more, and also to help my find my inner sexy I don't really want to dismiss my attractions to men and women, but I do wonder why I'm having these mixed thoughts and desires. Any ideas? The only thing I can think of to do about this just now is just go about life and let myself develop deep feelings for people naturally, and just see where things take me.
Your idea is actually a very good one. I would also just straight up ask yourself, "Can I spend my life with a man/woman?" If the answer is yes to both, then you are probably attracted to men and women. I'm thinking you are either a bisexual or something similar. When I say bisexual, I mean any level of attraction to men and women, such as 70% women and 30% men or 50/50 or any combination.
I think a gay person can spend there whole life with a straight person if the desire for that person or idea of.being straight and not gay is strong enough... I think you should quit watching porn.....
To be honest, that's all anyone can do when trying to figure out their gender/orientation. I'm in a somewhat similar situation. When I was in high school, I had no romantic or sexual feelings for anyone, really, aside from a couple of extremely mild "crushes" (I had an active desire to not act on them, so I don't know if they count). Last year I developed strong, vaguely romantic feelings for a girl (enough that I started fantasizing about being her girlfriend and spending the rest of my life with her), and shortly afterward my attraction to men all but vanished. Meanwhile, my attraction to women exploded -- even just the suggestion of lesbianism was enough to turn me on for a while. After a few months, things cooled down and my attraction to men returned. Now I'm much more likely to notice men than women. I've been trying to reconcile these three different experiences. For me, I think it comes down to novelty, as the more I've let myself think about my feelings for men, the less attractive men became, while women became more attractive. I also believe that, for a small minority of people, sexuality is either more or less completely fluid or otherwise so convoluted that it appears to be. Obviously this may or may not be the case for you, but it's something to think about.
I wanted to state that I have a problem with this, I think too.. I do actually feel like I'm switching to straight the more I think of myself as gay n accept being gay
This is, in essence, is very relatable right now. I don't know if I consider men any more attractive than usual, but I have been wondering what a relationship with a guy would be like (I've never actually dated one, but I have had two girlfriends - I guess it's not the norm). I mean, I can notice a guy's good looks/attractiveness but calling them "sexy" or "hot" or anything just sounds weird to me. I have a guy friend who's trying to flirt with me because my ex and I aren't together any more, but it bothers the Hell out of me. I'm pretty sure he's tried to before, but more discreetly because I was dating her. People have poor sense of timing, that's for sure. At the same time I'm not sure how I feel about being fully identified as a lesbian and how I feel with my attraction to other ladyfolks; I know for about a year or two I was very attracted to them and very rarely felt anything towards guys. Maybe it's anxiety and having been broken up with recently, but all of a sudden the idea of life/sexual/romantic relations with another woman seems off-putting, and a few months ago I was fine with it. I feel like I'm going to, somehow, wind up with a man in the future, which is not a thought I'm totally thrilled about. I mean, I'd probably put up with it if the guy was the "right guy", but the thought is not necessarily a pleasant one. I think I'd much rather be with the "right girl", but again, as of now, it feels weird to me. :dry: Who knows, maybe I'm bisexual (Which is what I first came out as) or even fluid. But, well, life. Questioning sexuality is a very interesting process, that's for sure. I might follow your strategy myself and see how it works for me.
