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Possibly trans?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Jojo1189, Aug 3, 2013.

  1. Jojo1189

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Dublin, Ireland
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    I'll try and be as clear as possible, even though my thoughts are a jumbled up mess.
    So, I was born a girl. I've been a girl for almost fourteen years. And now I think I might not be a girl.
    I amn't comfortable having breasts, I'm more comfortable acting and dressing like a boy, when I imagine my future, I see me as a boy, and overall I think I might be happier as a boy. But I'm not sure. As a test, I asked my four closest friends to call me Jared for a week or two, instead of Jenny. See if I think it's right. So far, it feels right. Good. I feel better being their male friend, than their female friend. I'm so confused, and I don't know what to think. Is there anything else to help me figure this out?
    Even if I was trans, I don't think I'd come out til I was an adult, over eighteen. That way I wouldn't be reliant on my parents.
     
  2. Romy J

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Iowa
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    IMO, the best you can do is keep looking into it. That's what I've been doing myself for a month now. The sticky post at the top of this section called Gender Identity: Useful/Helpful/Informative Threads on Gender Identity has some helpful links. The one that leads to a post here by J Snow compiles a lot of what's found in a lot of places on the net.

    Below are some links I've found helpful, and hopefully they'll help you too. They are to some of the organizations out there that are either trans-focused, or have lots of information ranging from some help figuring things out to information/help on coming out.

    National Center for Transgender Equality

    Human Rights Campaign (this is a direct link to the "Coming out in the Workplace" page, but it has links to other pages within that might be helpful to you)

    World Professional Association for Transgender Health (or WPATH - Lots of information on health related issues as a transperson)

    Keep in mind, I'm still figuring things out for myself, but I did read in some of the information I've come across that coming to communities like this and asking questions (or at very least reading through forums like these) is very helpful. In the end, you end up having to decide how you see yourself in the future...which it seems like you're beginning to get a good grip on and have supportive friends to help you.
     
  3. Lyra Cameron

    Regular Member

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    It sounds like you still have a few years to figure this out, and having time to not stress about your gender helps. Doing those tests helps a lot, and you may want to continue them. If this is a feeling that is new you may or may not be fully trans, but somewhere in between the binary (gender fluid, bigender, androgynous) but it sounds like you haven't felt this way your whole life. Which is all right, a lot of FtMs figure it out later in life, and at 14 you're questioning even earlier than I did.
    You might want to look at more FtM stories, how they figured it out, or ask any you know. I'm sure a lot of FtMs that are out online are more than willing to share their story and answer any questions you have. Having gender dysphoria, the uncomfortable feeling you have with your breasts, may be another indication your tans, but genderqueer people feel it too. So, my best advice would be to look into other people's stories on coming out to themselves, really giving yourself time to figure it all out, and keep doing tests with your friends (since they seem comfortable with this) as a guy, using the pronouns and acting how you feel natural even if it is masculine and just being yourself. You may find that after a while (week, month, year) you have a desire to appear female again, or the masculine feeling persists. If it does persist just as strongly, by the time you're 18 you may have figured out that you do want to transition. Really, just give yourself time so there is no mistaking how you really feel and it's okay for you to just be you no matter what society says.
     
  4. As Lyra said, give it time. I first started being able to put a label on what I felt at 14, but denied and suppressed it for quite some time. Not that it was completely new to me, just that -- that's when it first started clicking in my brain. 13 years later and those thoughts and emotions still haven't gone away...
     
  5. Mango

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Labels are not as important as your true feelings. Just allow yourself to be the many shades of Jenny, before diving into the deep side of Jared. Of course, "Jared" could just be some integral part of the real Jenny too.
     
  6. FightingShadows

    Full Member

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    You're still quite young. If I was you, I would explore this a bit before I officially came out. Everyone's different. For me, I knew when I was 3/4 years old but didn't come out until just last February. For me, my experimentation was dressing up in my brother's old clothes (which was just about all I could do considering they were older and didn't want their "baby sister" tagging along). Although I would have loved to have done the things they did, they never let me because they never knew what I was feeling.
    I tried out a few "nicknames" on myself too but once when I came out to a friend and she suggested Alex, I knew that was right for me. So yeah, don't dive completely right into it just yet. Take your time, explore, figure out what works for you.