So for the past few days i've been seriously considering that i might be transsexual. I'm biologically male and have always been rather feminine(or at least extremely un-masculine), but not really thought much about it. I never liked sport and felt that i got along better with girls. Since going through puberty socializing with girls became really awkward though and right now almost all my friends are male(caused in part by being in a class that's like 90% boys). I don't remember exactly what triggered it, but a few days ago i started looking stuff up on the internet and wondering about it seriously. I decided a while ago that i liked the idea of having a female body better then having a male one, but it's never really been that big of a deal. The problem is that i don't really know if this is just because i'm sexually attracted to females. Maybe it's just the fact that i like female bodies more and so when i look at myself in the mirror i'd rather have a female body. I don't crossdress although i do sometimes try to make myself look more feminine in the mirror by putting hair over my face(I have pretty long hair) so i can't see my annoyingly masculine jaw and tucking my penis between my legs so i can't see it. I don't really find that arousing though(except that touching my penis and having it tucked in does stimulate it.) I mostly just do it because it feels nice i guess. I don't really experience dysphoria. When i started getting hairier as puberty went on i did find it very unpleasant(and still do) but i think that's fairly normal. I don't really view my genitals as disgusting or scary, although i do feel that they're annoying and unpleasant and i'd rather get rid of them(but this might be more directed at my sex drive, as i masturbate quite a lot.) I am very self-concious about my body, and feel very uncomfortable showing it to other people. I don't use urinals for example and haven't gone swimming in forever even though i did it a lot as a child I don't really experience this with how people view me, it's all about my body. Socially i define myself more by my nerdiness than my gender. I've read that sex change surgery and hormones and stuff works better the earlier that you do it, which is why i want to figure this out as soon as possible. So could i be transsexual or is this just random teenage angst? Also english isn't my first language so if i sound weird that's why. Wow this was hard to write and it's embarassing to talk about sexuality.
You certainly could be trans. It gets repeated many times here, you don't have to have dysphoria to be trans. In the end, it doesn't come down to how much you hate your body or how much you acted like a girl when you were a child. All these things are arbitrary, and they don't reflect who you are. Do you feel like a woman? And do you feel like your path in life involves transition? Doubt is understandable, but I for one have never understood how teenage angst could manifest as gender issues. It seems far too specific for that. You mentioned the concept of being sexually attracted to yourself as a woman - that is an idea that has been around for a while, and its generally quite poisonous. It was once claimed that gay trans people, that is, those who transition to the same gender they were attracted to, do it for reasons of sexual fetishism rather than a legitimate gender issue that needed to be addressed. This, thankfully, is no longer believed to be the case, and I, and many others here can testify that we're non-heterosexual trans-people. I mention this only because you brought up the idea that you might be sexually attracted to yourself as a woman - I don't think its the case, the way you describe it sounds anything but sexual. Yeah, the benefits of hormones in particular are greater the earlier you take them. Could you give us some idea of your age and general location so we can advise you on how best to access treatment, as it differs by country. And your english is great, don't worry about that.
The problem with the sexual attraction aspect for me, is that I found even though I hadn't acknowledged that I had doubts about gender and orientation, the subconscious thoughts manifested themselves into minor sexual obsession with the female form that I thought was just sexual attraction but rather was the result of trying to ignore the fact that things ain't what they seemed to be. After I dealt with the orientation issue things balanced out some but I still had excessive attraction towards the female form. Side note, ive always been very good at internalizing my processes of dealing with urges, so never acted upon anything, especially anger that I no longer get. Anyway, I started to assess this female attraction and for me I concluded that it was more because I've always deep down never really understood the major separation between men and women and the reason why I can't freely choose what I prefer like i can for personality. After a long road of seeking understanding I now feel free to, and comfortable with fluidly adapting my Physical form to better reflect who I am. I can't give you any direct advice, but I hope the above helps you find your way, there's lots of resources out there to help you figure this all out.
Well first don't feel pressure. I mean you do hear about people that do regret transitioning too late, but also transitioning too early or because they felt like they should. There are people that start their transitions older than me and come out looking great, and I'm 32. I personally am a huge advocate of starting your transition as soon as it'll make your life actually better. I mean it is a hurdle and it makes things harder for a little while. But I think if you keep asking yourself the hard questions, when the time is right, you will know if being a woman on the outside will be right for you. For a lot of us that means waiting until college or our first job when we have a little independence. For some other people they have great supportive parents. And for some of us it just means waiting until later in life. I personally am glad I waited until I was honorably discharged from the military before deciding to transition, although I regret not doing it a little earlier in college. As far as how successful your transition is, effort and genetics matter more than age I found unless you start very young, like before puberty in the wrong gender young. Also for women in particular, I've found that being very health conscious is important. Starting earlier does make things easier sure, but if the time isn't right and you have to wait, it's not something you can't work around. I would definitely recommend, if you plan on going to college, seeing a free therapist to help sort out your feelings about whether to do it, especially if you're still feeling conflicted. If you get to a point where it's not "do I want to" but "how do I", then I would let your doctor know what's going on.
Thanks for the advice, people. I think i'll have to think this over properly for a week or so and then decide what to do. I've never really thought much about my gender and i really want to figure this out.
Wow I'm alot like you with the last few days nerdiness and the people I hung out with in the past (with the exception of feminine past). My problem is I've always liked being one of the guys and have always wanted to be more of a guy because im kind of unmanly. I'm not big into sports and love nerdy stuff but i hated being called feminine. I dont like my higher voice and small junk but ive always wanted to be big and jacked and really wanted girls to notice me for my body. I felt like getting strong and jacked was what would get me girls and noticed by others. Now i feel like ive just beem lying to myself yet if i were to put a hot female body next to a hot male body i would hands down admire the males body more while with women its mainly their faces i notice and how beautiful they are. I dont know i dont want to be a women or be xalled feminine or change myaelf because for the most part i enjoy being a guy and have no problem taking my shirt off and showing off my out of shape body. So Im just wondering if im on here because in reality im juat so stressed out over trying to figure out my sexuality that im starting to question other things. Ive never wondered what it is like to be a woman and i hope i never do but im just so nervous
Well i've never disliked being feminine. For me it's really the opposite since i've felt really uncomfortable with my body getting more masculine as i went through puberty. I disliked my voice getting deeper and growing more body hair, although i never made the connection with transsexualism, i thought it was just a phase since my body was changing(much less sure now though.) I've always felt very uncomfortable exposing my chest. So i can't really say we're that much alike. I didn't want to be more manly, but i thought it was weird that i didn't, since society enforces those stereotypes, but i never considered the idea of forcing myself to be more masculine. Also HOW CAN YOU BE ANNOYED ABOUT HAVING A HIGH VOICE, GIVE YOUR VOICE TO ME!!!
Lol sorry I trade if I could. Actually I don't think my voice is that high but it definitely cracks when trying to sing or I get really up about something. No I don't want to be feminine and it would bother me a lot if I tried to. I'm just similar to you in the way your discovering all of this, but we differ on what we want. The whole day I have been nervous about my gender and I have to say I don't want to be considered anything other then a guy but constant nervousness and paranoia make me feel different so maybe I don't know anymore. Id like to continue the life I have but I find myself desiring to be different Ill at least consider it. Good luck to you!
Hey again, So I did some research. There are a lot of issues that will affect you living in Sweden, but this link I really feel covers all of them and isn't too long, Transgender Health: Sweden and the issue of human rights for trans people. It is a little biased. I usually try to avoid putting biased links out there, but I felt it was important this time just because it hit all the obstacles. However, several people in your country have in the past transitioned successfully. EDIT: And I did want to provide a silver lining. Most places in Europe, once you've gone through the system, will pay for any sex affirmation surgeries. Also, there is apparently a good Swedish doctor operating out of Iceland by the name of Gunnar Kratz. In brief, if you do decide you want to transition, there are 6 gender teams in the country that you'd have to work with. The route goes psychiatrist -> panel of people -> doctors. And they want you to prove you've been trans since very young Also Sweden is a little infamous among us due to their sterilization requirement. I don't know much about other countries in Europe, but I know the NHS in the UK has been supportive of a few members here, albeit a little slow.
In Sweden, a good option is to turn to RFSL. You can be anonymous and they're quite used to dealing with dysphoria. They're in most major cities, otherwise just check out their website. They have curators there that can help you with these questions more hands on.
