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Could I be slightly Gender Fluid

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Beware Of You, Aug 12, 2013.

  1. Beware Of You

    Full Member

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    This may sound kinda dumb, but sometimes I wish I was a girl in a way. I just feel that sometimes I am well a bit girly inside and despise some of the male parts of my body like my hairy torso that I am in a constant battle with to remain smooth.

    There are other things as well, being blunt I have only 1 testicle at birth. I got offered a fake implant when I was 15 and I refused my reason was that I didn't want down there to be more noticeable and just things like that, they just come and go. At 10 my mum thought I was transgender because I was terrified of my penis, I always held it and hated seeing it.

    I guess sexually as well, I have never used my man parts in sex not once. I don't like jerking off or anything, its all anal stuff.

    But there is the odd occasion when I do feel masculine. Its like I am somewhere between the two.

    My boyfriend thinks I could be slightly gender fluid .
     
  2. JustAnotherSoul

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    Quite possibly! I identify as genderqueer/gender-fluid (I like both labels used together like that)

    The genderqueer comes from the dysphoria that I experience. There are definitely times when I want the world to see me as a boy, hate my boobs, and feel extremely uncomfortable being gendered as female

    At the same time though, it's very fluid. Six months ago I was super femme, and there is still the occasional day when I actually feel like myself in a dress. I also feel like it's not done yet, that my gender is going to continue to evolve and re-evolve, maybe for my entire life.

    For me, realizing this was about looking at my thoughts closely. When my ftm friend cut his hair and started passing reliably (until he opened his mouth at least), my first emotional response was jealousy. It was the final thing that was like "okay, umm, most cis people wouldn't feel this, what's going on."

    Anyway, it can be very confusing, but I think just reading and talking to people and hearing there stories can sometimes help :slight_smile: