I'm 29 born as a man two kids and in relationship with they mother I feel/felt like a woman all my life I tried to fight,hide and suppress these feelings but they want stop.I haven't told anybody about this I would just accept it and live my life but I don't won't my family to be unhappy because of me I though about writing a letter and act like it came from somewhere else just to see there reaction to it before I go any further but I don't know if it's a good idea or not I need help I tried to kill myself last years but stopped because of my kids but what do I do I'm depress everyday I wake up I snap out of it sometimes for my kids and family sake and put on a fake smile I normally talk to my mother when I'm down but I can't talk to her about this I would go see a therapist but I can't afford it . is there a way to make everyone happy or am I doom to be unhappy forever?
Do you have a GLBT Community Center in your area? If you do, they might be able to help you.. at reduced rates depending on your situation. If they have any free services, I know they will share that with you. The road won't be easy, but your own happiness is most important. No you don't have to be miserable and unhappy forever, that's no way to go through life. You came to the right place here at EC, as there's lots of loving and supportive people here. If you need to talk, just shoot any of us a message -- especially one of the Advisors such as my friend cassie29. She's really awesome. (&&&)(*hug*)
Oh hun... (*hug*) You've done the 2 most important steps of all in coming to terms with being Trans* and seeking help. The most important thing to remember right now is that none of this is your fault. Just like myself and a lot of other Trans* girls you tried your best to conform to the incorrect body. You and your family all deserve to be happy, not just your family. And I can attest that living a pretend life for others happiness is not living. My advice is to calm down and plan how you wish to go about telling your family that you are Transgender. Try finding a local GLBT center to contact for help. They can help you figure out the best way to deal with your situation. I'm not going to lie and say everything will be easy, but it's best that you deal with how you feel soon instead of continuing to suffer. Stay strong and keep us posted. (*hug*)
Hi there Venusblack, So I'm 32, male assigned at birth just like yourself. In a relationship again, long story short fiancee -> girlfriend -> trial separation -> we're girlfriends and her family knows about me. It has been one heck of a roller coaster year. And pretty much 31 of those years I spent fighting myself tooth and nail. I mean I have tons of stories, too many to share really. You know once, when I was in the Navy, I actually paid for a hotel room for me, just me, just so I could be myself for the night? In a resort town by the way so I couldn't really afford it right then either. Just figured you opened up and shared a little about yourself, so I would do the same thing. There's a lot of us out there that feel a lot like what you've described. One thing you mentioned was writing a letter. A lot of us have done that. I would talk to some LGB people here about that too, we've all had some experience coming out to people with stuff we've kept hidden from the world. I personally didn't try a letter, that's not really my style. If and when you decide to come out with whatever you know about yourself, you do have to do what's comfortable for you. But looking back it might have been a better idea if I had. The big plus with a letter is, it gives the other person time to react and collect their thoughts. But I don't think you don't want to act like it came from somewhere else. The reason why I say that, is that if you have some confidence and deliver it in person and say something like "I would like you to read this", then whoever you give it to will be a little better prepared, and they will respect you a lot more and be more likely to be on your side when they read it. Sorry in case you haven't guessed I'm a little bit of a chatterbox, especially when I'm typing. So as far as depression, you know I'm going to recommend therapy for that if you can get it. Seeing a therapist doesn't make you any less respectable in my opinion, but not seeing one if you need one might. It's a scary step but it's one you can make. Something else I do is find things to focus on. I have, especially now that I'm not in college and have time again, rekindled my love of video games. I like the classic twitchy arcade types we used to pour quarters into as kids. You get me started on either Tetris or Zelda and I will not shut up for hours. I'm also getting into Tomb Raider style puzzle platformers like Portal. But whatever it is, it's got to have two things: It has to be something you can get really into, and It's got to be something you can get better at with time. I have a friend that's taking up archery. Something cheap that you could try is getting good at chess. Or painting. But something. The idea is to just have something to take your mind off what's called "gender dysphoria" whenever you can. And to give yourself a source of confidence that comes from inside. If you have confidence, people react to you when you're trans really well. Really, even when people figure out I was born male when I'm out as myself, they're usually still nice and friendly toward me as long as I'm not acting like it's a big deal. And I can't even begin to describe how awesome it feels when I'm at McDonalds and the cashier calls me "ma'am". If you can accept yourself for who you really are, and you can work on gaining confidence that comes from inside you and not other people, you can definitely be happy again. Transition, if you choose it, is not the easiest road. But I've found it's worth it. And any time things get bad go ahead and shoot me a PM. If nothing else, we can have girl talk for a while Stop, I'm blushing :icon_redf
